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Welcome to Moe's is a song sung by Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Moe in the episode "Mommie Beerest". The music was composed by Alf Clausen and the lyrics by Michael Price. It is the twenty-fifth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify.
- Maybe some cheerier pink would make this place less of a dive.
- Marge, my customers don't like themselves, therefore, they seek the darkness.
- (patrons groan)
- Well, as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.
- Look, I like Moe's the way it is, alright, and I ain't changin' it for any dames, skirts, Suzy Qs, or facemacer.
- I had a feeling you'd say that. So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.
- This place is a diamond,
- But it's trapped in the rough.
- Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's,"
- So enough of your guff.
- Here's my new idea
- To sell both beer and grub:
- We will turn this filthy dive
- Into a proper old-time British pub.
- A British bar?
- Bart and Lisa:
- (to the tune of "Rule Brittania")
- Darts and meat pies,
- And lager in pint glasses.
- What a classy way
- To get drunk off your asses!
- Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!
- In song!
- Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish
- So why don't we all--
- Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.