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- Ned Flanders: Hi-diddly-ho, Homer.
- Homer: Oh my God! This dude does the best Flanders!
- Homer: Oops, I thought this was the can, man. Hahahahahahah.
- Mr Burns: Well, you're a happy Homer. What's your name, young man?
- Homer: You just said it! (Homer starts laughing)
- Mr Burns: Hehehe, well if you like that, listen to this. Working hard, or hardly working?
- (Homer laughs even harder)
- Homer: Hey, I've got a question for you. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it.
- Ned: Well sure of course, he could, but then again… wow as melon scratchers go, that's a honey doodle.
- Homer: Now you know what I've been going through.
- Marge: Hello…
- Homer: Marge, I just realized I'm the "ow" in the word low. And if you tell anyone.
- Marge: Honey I like it when you call but we just talked five minutes ago, hang on I've got call waiting… Hello?
- Homer: Hey, it's me. I've got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming me out.
- Homer: Oh no, we killed Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns is gonna be so angry!
- Page McConnell: (of Phish) And now, a man who's a real poe-thead, I'm sorry, pot-head, Homer Simpson!