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- Homer: Reverend Lovejoy, you deliver pizza now? But we didn't order any pizza. You forgot the pizza anyway. Marge, the pizza place screwed up again!
- Homer: So will you marry me in style?
- Marge: (in tears) Oh, yes, Homer, yes!
- Homer: Did you hear that Santa? She said "Yes"! Yes! Now back to your cold airless tomb.
- (Homer puts the Santa toy in the box)
- Santa: Ho ho ho!
- Marge: A pimple! Not on my day you don't.
- (the pimple on Marge's neck shrinks into nothing)
- Marge: Now we are 11 seconds behind schedule.
- (Marge sees that the room is empty.)
- Marge: Homer! (sobbing)
- (Maggie hears Marge sobbing through the walkie talkie and cues the band to play "When the Saints Go Marching In")
- [The plant snaps at the man.]
- Man: No! You're a plant now!
- Parson: I remember when she [Helen Lovejoy] used to be Helen Schartzbaum. Heck, I even remember when she was Harold Schartzbaum!
- Rev. Lovejoy: What?
- Marge: Homer, I can't believe you're ruining the second Thursday before the wedding!
- Homer: If Marge is like this now, then what will she be like after we're married?
- Bart: So you and mom aren't married? Does that mean I'm a bastard?
- Lisa: Technically, you were born while they were married, so legally, no. But, in the sense that when someone calls you that when you're angry, yes.
- Bart: Eh, Whatever.
- Lisa: I think it's romantic. You can pretend you're newlyweds starting a life together!
- Bart: Yeah, instead of exhausted zombies running down the clock.
- Homer: Why, you little bastard! [growling while strangling Bart]
- Lisa: That's the angry one.
- Bart: [strangling while Homer grunting] Uh-huh.