Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer, ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life...
Justin Hayward: Chips of red, and blue, and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's arse-whipping time!
Ray Thomas: (pulling out a knife) I want fatty!
Casino Security Guard: Someone dishonoring their marriage vows? Not in Las Vegas!
Homer: What if we switched wives? Would that help?
Flanders: For the last time, NO!
Reverend Lovejoy: And once again, tithing is ten percent off the top, that's gross income, not net. Please people, don't force us to audit.
(While at the casino demolition)
Mr. Burns: I'm just thinking about my employees. All the card sharks, bottom dealers and schills. Where will they go?
Smithers: They're managing your chain of nursing homes, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent!
Flanders: (about how young he is even though he's 60 years old) Listen, folks. There's no magic formula. I just followed the three C's: clean living, chewing thoroughly and a daily dose of vitamin church.
Homer: (about Lance Murdock) He's a daredevil, Ned. He laughs at death.
Flanders: Well, when I want to laugh, I'll take Bob Saget, thank you very much.
Homer: (to Flanders) Blame me, if you must, but don't ever speak ill of the Program. The Program is rock solid! The Program is sound!