Discouraged by sixty years of minding his P's and Q's, Ned Flanders asks Homer to reveal the secret of his intoxicating lust for life. But Homer's plans to put the spice back into Ned's brio go haywire when they land the pair in wedlock with two grubby casino cocktail waitresses.
All of Springfield is at the demolishing of the Monty Burns Casinofrom a previous episode. While this took place, Bart announced that he can't wait to see the implosion which the construction worker was unaware about seconds after he pushed down on the handle, causing the building to easily collapse and Springfield to be engulfed by mountain high smoke. While driving away Marge suggests to Homer that he should get the car washed. He refuses until Lenny pulls up right next to the car and suggests that he should get his car washed, then he drives there immediately. While there Marge notices that they have her favorite music on sale. While paying for the wash Homer notices that Ned only has to pay $5 instead of the regular $10 fee because he used a senior citizen discount card. Homer suspects that Flanders is not 55 and thinks that's a big gyp.
The next day at church Homer interrupts the donation time to announce that Flanders is a big shyster, but by the end of Homers senseless rambling, Ned announces that he is actually 60 years old. After that people ask him how he stays so young looking. Ned says it is just living a clean life, saying he has never given into any urge's, at which point everyone begins to pity him for living so long without ever having lived at all.
During the car ride home, Ned asks his family if he is just plain boring Maude replies no and he believes her until the whole family predicted what he was going to say. He stops the car to see that Abe and Jasper are living it up driving a red sports car full of beautiful young women and is annoyed that everyone seems to be living but him, but the two are actually getting carjacked at gun point.
The next day Ned tries to be less boring and predictable by not trimming his moustache but the family says its just plain old Ned Flanders. Ned looks out the window to see Homer roasting a chicken on the roof with the chimney going up in flames. Flanders climbs up the roof and asks Homer to help him become a nonsensical person and a wild thinker. Homer accepts the job.
The next scene is in the kitchen where Homer is making Ned sign papers. He is about to sign them until Lisa comes in and tells him that he is actually signing a paper that gives Homer power of attorney. But its the only way that Homer will teach him his ways, so he accepts. Later that day as Homer is driving Ned around, Ned is writing down everything he says. But Homer throws the notepad out the window and says that he is being too sensible and not impulsive enough. So he drives him to the Monty Burns Casino but Ned reminds him that they blew that up a few days back. Homer then turns back and tells Ned that they are going to Las Vegas.
At about 8:30, they are still not in Vegas yet, and Ned wants to call Maude so she isn't worried about him. Homer lies to him saying that he already called her, knowing Flanders will believe him. Once they get to Vegas Ned starts to reconsider about the trip and wants to get out. Homer attempts to lock the doors but Ned is able to get out anyway, but all of a sudden Joan Rivers pops up asking Ned if he wants to be on her infomercial. Ned gets back in the car and they drive off to a show place called Nero's Palace, which is showing Lance Murdock. Homer tells Flanders that this is his moment to be exciting but when the show starts Ned says hes not going to risk his life like a bozo. So Homer volunteers and ignores all the safety instructions. Unfortunately Homer's stupidity gives Lance some internal injuries. Homer gets off the ramp and goes to the casino. Ned actually admitted that he wanted to see Homer get killed which Homer was proud of.
The next scene shows Homer and Ned playing a game of craps and Homer asks him what number he should pick. Ned believes that gambling is wrong, but Homer picks the number seven. They win and they go off to the bar. There Ned asks Homer how does he just think before he even acts. Homer tells him his secret is alcohol. He then tells the waitress to get them some more alcohol.
The next scene has Ned and Homer sleeping in a hot tub with their clothes on. They then wake up to find out that they are now married to the two waitresses that served them their drinks at Neros Palace. At first Homer thinks this is a scam, until they show Homer and Ned the video tape that proves that they were married. The two treat their new wives to the buffet and then run while they are not looking. The two waitresses call Vegas security to capture them. They are then captured and thrown out of the town and are forbidden to come back. While walking back to Springfield Homer makes up a story that they were abducted by aliens to cover up the whole incident. As the credits roll, they are heard being attacked by vultures.