Wiggum: The prince is coming by and I want her clean when he looks her over. (Eliza enters the room)
Eliza: Perhaps we can be of assistant, Inspector.
Wiggum: Well well well, look who is here! Master detective Eliza Simpson and her easily amazed sidekick: Dr. Bartley.
Bartley: (gasps) What's this? A doorknob! Good show!
Otto: (throw by Homer) Opium Rules!
Lord Mayor Quimby: This week in our Summer Hanging Series we're pleased to present the Muttonchop Murderer! At last God-fearing Londoners are free to walk Whore Alley. (Chief Wiggum prepares to push the switch to hang him, but Eliza prevents him)
Eliza: Stay your hand, Inspector. That man is innocent! The murderer's blade is covered with blood, but the handle is covered with something else: the unmistakable fragrance of (points the sword to Wiggum, who is eating an Eel Pie) eel pie.
Wiggum: Eh, Lots of people like Eel Pie!
Lou: Yeah? Well, how many of them have muttonchops? (Takes off his hat, revealing his muttonchops)
Wiggum: Why can't you be more like Eddie? He never says a word against me.
Lou: That's because you cut his tongue.
Eddie: (His speech is different due to a lack of a tongue) He's right chief.
In the Belly of the Boss
Lisa: Dad, would you like some of my Snickers bar cheesecake?