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- Witch Marge: And this is for pushing me off the cliff!
- (She casts a spell on Eddie and Lou turning them into a snowman and a fairy respectively)
- Eddie: All right, nothing to see here.
- Lou: Yeah, show's over. Alright, move along.
- Ned: We can all work together to build a Utopian society, free of violence, hate, and prejudice!
- Marge: That sounds beautiful, Ned. And let me just say my family and I share your vision for a better- Now!
- (Marge and the kids pull out shotguns and shoot the mutants, leaving them in a pile.)
- Marge: Friends with mutants, right!
- Homer: Now, that's the Marge I married! So, who wants to steal some Ferraris?!
- Bart, Lisa, & Marge: Ooh me! I do! I do!
- Comic Book Guy: But Aquaman, you can not marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds. (Sees the nuclear missile coming) Oh, I've wasted my life.
- (Springfield blows up)
- Homer: Marge, kids, you're alive!
- Lisa: All the layers of lead paint in this house made it the perfect bomb shelter!
- Bart: Well I'll be a son of a witch!
- Witch Marge: That's right, I'm a witch! And I'm the one who withered your livestock, soured your shee'ps milk, and your made your shirts itchy!
- Farmer Lenny: Hey! You destroyed my turnip crop!
- Witch Marge: No, that was gophers.
- Witchhunter Wiggum: That's impossible. I thought we burned all of the gophers!
- Witch Marge: Not all of them!
- (Turns Wiggum into a giant gopher)
- Professor Frink: Good morning, ma'am. Good afternoon, sir. It passed noon while I was speaking so that was technically accurate.
- Maude: Oh, Neddy. Look at them up there, plotting our doom. They could force us to commit wanton acts of carnality.
- Ned: (Under his breath) Yeah, that'll be the day.