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ā—„ The Fat and the Furriest
Today, I Am a Clown
'Tis the Fifteenth Season ā–ŗ
Groundskeeper Willie: (inspects a puppy) He's an irritable, walleyed misfit bastard! (turns soft) Just like Willie. Oh... Oh...

Bart: Hey, mister, would you like a puppy?
Snake: No, but I'll take one! (reveals a gun inside his vest)
Bart: Okay.
Snake: I'm going to cherish and care for this dog, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Hahahaha! (kisses the puppy)

Krusty: I just found out I'm not Jewish! I got turned down by all those country clubs for nothing!

Homer: Who has more power? Miss America or Miss USA?
Carl: I think one's elected, and the other one's appointed.

Bart (to Lisa): How do you know all this stuff?
Lisa: I have a Jewish imaginary friend. Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis.

Krusty: (pitching show ideas to Fox) How about one where I move in with a poor family, and laugh at 'em! You see, beā€¦ (the Fox executive looks interested briefly) Okay, how about you televise my bar mitzvah! Live! Please you people are known for taking chances on crap!!!

(Lisa opens the door and picks up Maggie)
Marge: (gasps) How did you get her out?
Lisa: I tried the coat hanger again. I don't understand why we only try ideas once.

Homer: I'll audience you! (grunting while strangling Bart)

Chief Wiggum: Simpson, I hate to bother you when you're eating. But you're always eating.

Lisa: Wait. Santa's Little Helper had puppies before and then we got him neutered.


ā—„ Season 14 Season 15 Quotes Season 16 ā–ŗ
Treehouse of Horror XIV ā€¢ My Mother the Carjacker ā€¢ The President Wore Pearls ā€¢ The Regina Monologues ā€¢ The Fat and the Furriest ā€¢ Today, I Am a Clown ā€¢ 'Tis the Fifteenth Season ā€¢ Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays ā€¢ I, D'oh-Bot ā€¢ Diatribe of a Mad Housewife ā€¢ Margical History Tour ā€¢ Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore ā€¢ Smart and Smarter ā€¢ The Ziff Who Came to Dinner ā€¢ Co-Dependent's Day ā€¢ The Wandering Juvie ā€¢ My Big Fat Geek Wedding ā€¢ Catch 'Em if You Can ā€¢ Simple Simpson ā€¢ The Way We Weren't ā€¢ Bart-Mangled Banner ā€¢ Fraudcast News
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