To Surveil With Love/Quotes
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[Chief Wiggum is explaining to new recruits how to use the monitors]
Chief Wiggum: "Now just follow a little formula called PB&J, pear at the monitor, be judgmental and jot it down. And one way to remember that is ABC, Always Be Considering PB&J, but the single most important rule is the four 'a's, Always Act According to ABC."
(At the train station)
Train passenger: (see Homers bag), that bag, surely it’s attended. (The crowd moves back.) UNATTENDDED BAG!
(The crowd runs)
Train conductor: All panic!
Ned: I never wanted to turn into Big Brother. I just want to a Little Sister tattling on everyone so the town would be a nicer place.
Homer: Well, if you ask me, you were trying to play God.
Ned: (Gasps), that’s the worst sin of all for some reason.
Marge: "That's not Sesame Street, that's a Gay Bar."
[Shauna is making out with Jimbo but they both freak out when they hear a voice coming from somewhere]
Jimbo: "Come on baby it's just a voice."
Flanders: "...Like God created the Devil."
Homer: "God create the devil? Finally he did something cool!"
Queen Elizabeth II: "I'll miss that Ralph Wiggum. He reminds me of my boy."
Prince Charles: "Mommy, my cat's breath smells like cat food."
Mr. Burns: "Just find the biggest idiot on our payroll and slip it in his bag."
[Chief Wiggum is using the police monitors to spy on Edna Krabappel sunbathing topless]
Lou: "Chief I think we got miss use police equipment on ZZ99."
