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To Surveil With Love/Quotes

< To Surveil With Love

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The Squirt and the Whale
To Surveil With Love
Moe Letter Blues


[Chief Wiggum is explaining to new recruits how to use the monitors]
Chief Wiggum: "Now just follow a little formula called PB&J, peer at the monitor, be judgmental and jot it down. And one way to remember that is ABC, Always Be Considering PB&J, but the single most important rule is the four 'a's, Always Act According to ABC."

(At the train station)
Train passenger: (sees Homer's bag), That bag, surely it’s attended. (The crowd moves back.) UNATTENDDED BAG! (The crowd runs)
Train conductor: All panic!

Ned: I never wanted to turn into Big Brother. I just want to a Little Sister tattling on everyone so the town would be a nicer place.
Homer: Well, if you ask me, you were trying to play God.
Ned: (Gasps), that’s the worst sin of all for some reason.

Marge: "That's not Sesame Street, that's a Gay Bar."

[Shauna is making out with Jimbo but they both freak out when they hear a voice coming from somewhere]
Jimbo: "Come on baby it's just a voice."

Flanders: "I guess I did create all this like God created the Devil."
Homer: "God create the devil? Finally he did something cool!"

Queen Elizabeth II: "I'll miss that Ralph Wiggum. He reminds me of my boy."
Prince Charles: "Mommy, my cat's breath smells like cat food."

Mr. Burns: "Just find the biggest idiot on our payroll and slip it in his bag."

[Chief Wiggum is using the police monitors to spy on Edna Krabappel sunbathing topless]
Lou: "Chief I think we got miss use police equipment on ZZ99."

(At one of the debate groups)
Lisa: And that is why hybrid car buyers should be given rebates paid for by taxes on hamburgers. (a lady blows a horn)
Judge: Thank you Lisa. (Skinner enters the room)
Skinner: Excuse me. the "podiums" are needed in the art room as easels.
Ralph and Wendell: Yaaay!! (they leave the room)
Judge: Megan, cross-examination.
Megan: What if someone's driving an old, but functioning, car? Wouldn't the carbon required to create a new hybrid exceed the savings in gas?
Lisa: Initially yes, but...
Megan: And isn't most electricity in the United States ultimately derived from the burning of coal?
Lisa: Currently. However, solar and wind are...
Megan: The sun and the breeze. two things you know a lot about, right blondie?
Lisa: Blondie!?
Megan: (Sarcastically) Like totally, Why don't we get a bitchin' new perm with daddy's credit card? (The kids laugh)
Lisa: First of all, my father no longer has any functioning credit cards. Secondly, How dare you refer to...
Megan: (Sarcastically) Ooh, you can count to two!
Lisa: (Andry at her) Oh!
Megan: Do you need some ice on your head? (The kids laugh, Lisa gasps)
Lisa: I'd.... I... (The lady blows the horn again)
Judge: The winner by a hair-- a brown hair-- Megan! (Lisa angrilly groans at her while she stares sarcastiically at Lisa)
Season 20 Season 21 Quotes Season 22
Homer the WhopperBart Gets a "Z"The Great Wife HopeTreehouse of Horror XXThe Devil Wears NadaPranks and GreensRednecks and Broomsticks O Brother, Where Bart Thou?Thursdays with AbieOnce Upon a Time in SpringfieldMillion Dollar MaybeBoy Meets CurlThe Color YellowPostcards From the WedgeStealing First BaseThe Greatest Story Ever D'ohedAmerican History X-cellentChief of HeartsThe Squirt and the WhaleTo Surveil With LoveMoe Letter BluesThe Bob Next DoorJudge Me Tender

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