Looking for someone new to prank, Bart and Milhouse find a naive-looking man named Howell Huser, who has been roaming America. They torment him so much that he breaks his 47 year long smiling streak. Unfortunately Huser turns out to be a professional tourist who works for a TV station rating towns for tourism. He says just how terrible Springfield is. Within a month, the Springfield tourism business is in a state of collapse. As a solution, Lisa suggests they legalize same-sex marriage.
Soon, hundreds of gay and lesbian couples come to Springfield. However, Rev. Lovejoy still holds the view that marriage is only between a man and a woman and refuses to join any same-sex couple. Marge tries to argue that certain parts of the bible conflict about same sex coupling, but Lovejoy starts ringing the church bell to drown her out (like sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la la.). Homer, when he overhears that ministers get paid $200 per couple, decides to become a minister himself by going online and answering about two questions. Shortly afterwards, he marries every gay couple in town. Afterwards when all the gay couples in Springfield are married, a money hungry Homer puts up a sign saying "Will marry anyone to anything." meaning he literally will marry anyone to anything they wish, even inanimate objects like the captain marrying his mermaid ship head.
Patty tells Marge that she herself is a lesbian and is in love with a pro-golfer named Veronica. Marge is extremely uncomfortable with this new fact, even though shes been supportive of the gay marriage act and the evidence was always there. Marge seemed to either be naive to it or just blocked it out. She also makes a shocking discovery: Veronica is actually a man who is disguised to be on the women's tour. At the ceremony, Marge states "Veronica's" secret and when he asks Patty to still marry him, she declines. Patty and Selma then go to leave a bag at the airport unattended, as a way to meet security personnel.