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ā—„ Lisa's Substitute
The War of the Simpsons
Three Men and a Comic Book ā–ŗ
Barney: (to Patty) Hey! You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau [burp] tiful!
(She sprays him in the eyes with Mace)
Barney: Oh, ow, hey! [burp] [cough] Is that a new kind of Mace? It's really painful!

Bait Shop Clerk: Yep, "General Sherman". They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know. No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day.
Customer: And, uh, no one's ever caught him?
Bait Shop Clerk: Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell...

Homer: Mmmm, Horse Doovers...

Marge: Oh, my. Where are we supposed to get a sitter on such short notice?
Homer: Oh, dear! If we can't find a babysitter, we can't go! What a kick in the teeth.
Bart: What do you need a babysitter for? I'm almost ten-and-a-half.
Lisa: Mom, you wouldn't dare!
Bart: Don't take that tone with me, young lady, or I'll give you a taste of the back of me hand.
Homer: No, you don't!

Homer: Go ahead, General Sherman! Foist your strength, you big ugly catfish! I got a skillet and a stick of butter with your name on it!


ā—„ Season 1 Season 2 Quotes Season 3 ā–ŗ
Bart Gets an "F" ā€¢ Simpson and Delilah ā€¢ Treehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") ā€¢ Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish ā€¢ Dancin' Homer ā€¢ Dead Putting Society ā€¢ Bart vs. Thanksgiving ā€¢ Bart the Daredevil ā€¢ Itchy & Scratchy & Marge ā€¢ Bart Gets Hit by a Car ā€¢ One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish ā€¢ The Way We Was ā€¢ Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment ā€¢ Principal Charming ā€¢ Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? ā€¢ Bart's Dog Gets an F ā€¢ Old Money ā€¢ Brush with Greatness ā€¢ Lisa's Substitute ā€¢ The War of the Simpsons ā€¢ Three Men and a Comic Book ā€¢ Blood Feud
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