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| The Springfield Files |
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- Bart: (telling a scary story) ...and that's how much money college will cost for Maggie.
- Homer: No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Mr. Burns: La la, la la la la (skips off into the woods)
- Dr. Nick: The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.
- Mr Burns: Yes, and now that I'm back to normal I don't bring you peace and love I bring you hate and...
- Dr Nick: Time for a booster! (Jabs needle in Burns)
- Mr Burns: (in happy state) Good morning starshine, the earth says hello...
- Squeaky-Voiced Teen: I'm Leonard Nimoy, goodnight, and keep watching the skis! ... I mean, skies.
- Mulder: What's the point of this experiment?
- Scully: No point, I just thought he could stand to lose some weight.
- Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic!
- Scully: (mesmerized voice) Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
- Mulder: Look at this Scully. There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
- Scully: Well, gee Mulder. There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
- Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.
- Dr. Nick Rivera: Don't worry. You won't feel a thing...
- (exhibiting a swirling mechanical device)
- Dr. Nick Rivera: ...till I jam this down your throat!
- Homer: I don't see any Homer is a Dope t-shirts anywhere, Lisa.
- Store guy: Those were sold out five minutes ago.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Scully: This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes-or-no questions, and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
- Homer: Yes. [lie detector explodes]
