The Serfsons/Quotes

Episode	References	Gags	Appearances	Gallery	Quotes	Credits

◄ Dogtown

The Serfsons

Springfield Splendor ►

[Marge cooks food for her family]

Homer: Aw, water soup again?

[Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup]

Marge: Now, it's crow soup.

Homer: Ooh, I call an eye!

Lisa: Me too!

Bart: Me three!

Marge: And Maggie gets the beak.

[Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie]

Maggie: Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!

[Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it]

---

Lisa: Lousy nobles. We serfs are starving, while they're feasting and jousting and posing for tapestries, where they're friends with a unicorn. As if any unicorn would like them. Unicorns like nice people. I'm a nice person.

---

[Homer pokes his father's spider web, looking for his mother-in-law's]

Grandpa: Son, is that you?

Homer: No.

---

Lisa: See how the heads of rich people get the tallest pikes with the best view? It's so unfair.

---

Marge: In a great country like ours, a poor girl can grow up to be anything she wants. A wife, or a harlot, and that's it.

Jacqueline: I want her to be a harlot, but it's all who you know.

Marge: It's never too late. Everyone is someone's weird fetish.

---

Marge: Is my mom gonna be okay?

Dr. Hibbert: I'm sorry, but a week from now, your mother will be frozen solid.

Marge: No! No, that can't be! She's barely into her hag years!

---

Marge: Okay, we just need to come up with 100 gold pieces. How much do we have in our savings?

Homer: Hmmm, let me think ... there's that thing ... and I had that things ... What are savings?

---

Marge: Homer Serfson! You are the most selfish jerk in the entire tri-kingdom area! I should have listened to that witch and married my twin brother Marcory.

Marcory: Always here if you need me, sis.

---

Marcory: Good things come to those who wait.

---

Homer: It's not like I want to kill her mother, I just want to let her die from neglect.

---

Moe: Uh, let's see here, an urgent message for M'lady Gwendolyn Parts. Uh, M'lady Parts? Has anyone seen M'lady Parts? Can somebody grab M'lady Parts?

Barney: That depends. How big is your dowry?

---

Mr. Burns: Serfson, you've pushed that wheel around and around for 20 years. Have you ever wondered why?

Homer: Mostly, I just push it.

Mr. Burns: Have you ever noticed, that the wheel isn't hooked up to anything?

Homer: [gasp] The rumors were true!

Mr. Burns: But your work does produce something very special. Human misery, which, when collected, ground into a powder, and snorted, gives rich people tiny wings, that do nothing.

---

Homer: A lead lick a day keeps the doctor a-bluuuuuuh.

---

Homer: No daughter of mine is gunna end up in the hex trade. Let's go buy that amulet. And don't worry, mom's the word.

Azzlan: Did you say, "The Word"?

Homer/Lisa: Ugh, Hi Azzlan.

---

[Bart kills a Milhouse troll with a Medieval flair tether ball]

Bart: 12-nothing. My serve.

[It is revealed there is an entire gang of Milhouse trolls]

Milhouse: You know, eventually, you're gonna run out of us.

Bart: I said "My serve".

---

Marge: I said it when I was 11, and I'll say it now. You're the greatest husband in the world.

---

Jacqueline: I've lived a full life. I saw a drawing of an ocean. I watched my daughter marry an ogre.

Homer: I am not an ogre. My father married an ogre, after my mother was eaten by a different ogre.

---

Bart: Is it really so bad for Grandma, if she dies? Won't she spend eternity in the fields of bliss?

Homer: Yeah, we're all going to the fields of bliss, where the days are past and frolic most joyous.

Bart: Just frolicking? That's it?

Homer: Sometimes, you wave ribbons through the air, but mainly frolicking.

Bart: Doesn't that get old?

Homer: Did I mention the ribbons, cuz there's ribbons.

[Several men come up and explain their religious beliefs]

Duffman: Fields of bliss? Nonsense. The afterlife is an eternity of slaughtering and being slaughtered by your enemies. Oh yeah!

Kirk: You're both wrong. After death, you spend all day, counting Goblin Jesus' money, and it better all be there.

Horatio: 71 Mermaids. Some, where the fish is the top part. Top!

Otto: Mushrooms! Everywhere, mushrooms!

[Homer punches out Otto]

Homer: Gr! Frolicking in ribbons!

Bart: Yeah, but, what if after we die, that's it? We're just gone.

[Everyone gasps]

Clancy: Do, just poof? Really? Poof and then, just super nothing?

Bart: m-M-m.

Clancy: Well, it's clean. I'll give you that.

---

Marge: What do you want to ask your grandma?

Bart: I got nothing. I might take a stroll and enjoy the golden age of cleavage.

Marge: Lisa?

Lisa: Uh ...

Maggie: [suck, suck]

Lisa: Oh, well, Grandma, tell us of your most ardent swain.

Jacqueline: I dated a shape shifter once. I thought I could keep him from changing. I was wrong. Love is a fairy tale!

Lisa: [sadly] Oh.

[Homer appears out of nowhere]

Homer: [loudly whispering, what he doesn't mean] EVERY MOMENT WITH HER IS A PRECIOUS GIFT!

---

Bart: Abra-Caramba!

---

Marge: How are we going to get over these walls?

[A league of Treants walk up]

Treant: Walls can not stop us. The trees will fight with you.

Homer: We will never forget your sacrifice. [takes out an axe]

Treant: Sacrifice?

[Everyone had cut down the trees and turned them into ladders]

Treant: We could have torn down the castle walls in 5 minutes.

Homer: Heh, heh, heh, heh. Trees can't talk, silly.

[Homer cuts the face off the Treant]

---

Bart: Milhouses, save your girlfriend.

[The Milhouses start rushing to save Lisa]

Lisa: Okay, no. Uh, I'm just a friend, who is a girl.

Milhouses: There's something to build on.

---

[Wolfcastle rides in, on a dragon]

Wolfcastle: You peasants are a dragon the economy.

Sideshow Mel: Oh, I get it, because he's riding a dragon.

[Wolfcastle burns Mel alive]

Sideshow Mel: AAAAAGH! My love for wordplay is undiminished!

[Mel dies]

---

Jacqueline: Life is about moving forward. Girls want to be women, women want to be mothers, mother want to be grandmas, and grandmas want to know what comes next.

---

Lisa: As long as Grandma lives on in our hearts, then she's never truly gone.

Bart: Until we die, then it's like she never existed.