The Fabulous Faker Boy
The Saga of Carl
Dangers on a Train
Homer: What the...? Change the channel? But I'm watching soft-core tennis.
Bart and Lisa: Ki-Ya Karate Monsters!
Homer: What the hell is that?
Bart: It's our favorite show.
Lisa: Mom said we could watch it.

Homer: You like this now? What about Planet Jackson and the Earth Brigade?
Bart: Dad, we don't watch that show anymore!
Lisa: It's for babies! (Maggie drops one of the toys)

Homer: Guys, this science exhibit told me how stupid it is to play the lottery.
Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you didn't buy our weekly ticket?
Homer: Are you nuts? You can't win if you don't play.
Carl: Hey it's time. Turn it on, turn it on! Moe turns on TV using Remote
Homer: 4 Lucky numbers for 4 best friends.
Moe: Yeah, I always go with 3, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Games-ed in the womb.
Lenny: 19 for me Uh, for the best year of my life, 1996.
Carl: My Number's 22. No reason. Just... 22.
Homer: And I'm 69 Because people always laugh when you say "69." No one knows why.
Kent: And the winning numbers are... 3, 19, 22, and 69. (laughing)
Lenny: Oh, my gosh. We won We won the Springfield Lottery.
Moe: That's 200 grand. That's 50,000 bucks each!

Homer: That money's gonna dig us a swimming pool that'll take our broken family and make it whole.
Marge: We're not broken!
Bart: We're broken.
Lisa: We're pretty broken.

Man: Ingemor Ogemoson, How progresses your gonorrhea?
Ingemor: It heals, but slowly.

Moe: (as Lenny fights Carl) When the nice ones snap, it's always a good show.

Lenny: Carl Carlson is our friend, even if he doesn't believe it.
Moe: If we can forgive Carl for stealing our lottery winnings, maybe youse can find it in youse's hearts to forgive his ancestors.
Man: The many small kindnesses of Carl Carlson have redeemed his family forever.

Homer: We don't get together to share our emotions. We get together to escape them!
Moe: Yeah. I'd tell you guys "I love you," but, uh, I don't wanna say it and you don't wanna hear it.
Lenny: To nothing! (They toast, drink their beers, and are silent.)

Season 23 Season 24 Quotes Season 25
Moonshine RiverTreehouse of Horror XXIIIAdventures in Baby-GettingGone Abie GonePenny-WiseguysA Tree Grows in SpringfieldThe Day the Earth Stood CoolTo Cur, with LoveHomer Goes to Prep SchoolA Test Before TryingChanging of the GuardianLove is a Many-Splintered ThingHardly Kirk-ingGorgeous GrampaBlack-Eyed, PleaseDark Knight CourtWhat Animated Women WantPulpit FrictionWhiskey BusinessThe Fabulous Faker BoyThe Saga of CarlDangers on a Train