|The Old Man and the "C" Student||
- Chalmers: Huh? Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball State then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?
- Skinner: Don't worry, sir. I'll teach these children some respect for their town. I'm assigning each of you - [Groaning, Grumbling]
- Chalmers: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.
- [The mail carrier rings]
- Homer: I'll get it! [laughs]
- Mail carrier: Delivery for Homer Simpson.
- Homer: [opens the package] Hmmm. Woohoo! My Springs! They finally came!
- Marge: But we lost the Olympics to Shelbyville.
- Homer: Yeah, but I'll should have no problem selling 1,000 springs.
- Marge To who?
- Homer: To idiots. Ooh, these are fun!
- Old Jewish Man: (After seeing a Native American Chief breaks through a window), you know the door was open, Chief Break Everything.
- Jasper: (playing Bingo) You sunk my battleship!
- [At Moe's]
- Homer: Hey, Lenny, want some nuts? [shows a can]
- Lenny: Hey, thanks. [Opens the can. Springs spring out and one sticks in Lenny's eye] Ow, my eye! [Homer laughs]
- Moe: Homer, get out of here.
- Homer: Boy, Moe, you sure look angry. Want some nuts?
- Moe: Thank you, I love nuts. [Opens the can and a spring sticks in Moe's eye] Ow! God, my eye!
- [At the Simpson house]
- Homer: Welcome to the kitchen of tomorrow, today! Marge, how much would you pay for a self flipping hamburger pan?
- Marge: Nothing.
- Homer: Don't ask yet! Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help of God's latest creation, the springs. [The casserole has springs under it. The burgers jump on the air and the oil burns Homer. He screams.] Some second-degree burns but some first class burgers!
- Marge: Homer, get rid of these springs!
- Homer: But you haven't seen the baby of tomorrow! [Maggie is full of springs] Now, if I drop her, no more tears! [He uses her as a basketball ball]
- Marge: Give me my baby!
- Homer: Give it up, Marge, I'm coming through the hole!
- Marge: Homer, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I want these springs out of our house today!
- [Inside the bathroom, Homer flushes the springs down the toilet]
- Homer: [Singing] You flush one down, it swirls around. Nine hundred and ninety nine springs to flush down!
- Marge: [Knocks the door] You're not flushing those springs down our toilet, are you?
- Homer: Of course not! Nine hundred and ninety six springs to flush down, nine hundred and ninety six springs!
- [The boat, with all of the old people, Bart and Lisa, is sinking. When it does, it goes up again]
- Bart: What the heck's going on?
- [The springs Homer flushes down the toilet come from a pipe and cause the boat to spring back up]
- Homer: [heard singing] A hundred and thirty five springs to flush down, a hundred and thirty five springs!
- [On Mr. Burn's yacht]
- Mr. Burns: Now, Smithers, you say you painted all your navy buddies this way?
- Smithers: [looks up from drawing] Until I was discharged, sir.