|The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants||
- Bart: Is there any better feeling than waiting for a live Krusty show to start?
- Milhouse: Maybe watching your bride coming down the aisle.
- Bart: Hmm...
- Homer: (sobbing) Why does she get to eat before the reception?
- Sideshow Mel: Seltzer bottle connected and pressurized?
- Krusty: Check.
- Sideshow Mel: Roll-up dicky set to six?
- Krusty: Nope. 11.
- Sideshow Mel: (gasps)
- Krusty: My comedy comes from taking risks. Or avoiding them, I can't remember.
- Women: Krusty, we need to talk.
- Krusty: Make it fast. I got a coiled up spring ready to boi-oi-oi-oi-oing. Oh, why can't I be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch, except when he's off work.
- Man: (laughs) Yeah. It's about your vodka, Absolut Krusty.
- Women: We're having trouble persuading people it's hip to drink a vodka made by a clown, in a bottle shaped like a clown, that does this when you open it. (ooga horn sounds)
- Krusty: (laughs) Always gets me.
- Man: Yeah, plus, that TV special where you drank another brand of vodka didn't help.
- Krusty: I used up my stuff poisoning deer.
- Man: If we're ever gonna sell your vodka, we need to do something completely unorthodox-- a viral marketing campaign.
- (metallic creaking)
- Krusty: Get to the Point! Unless you want a face full of clown chunks!
- Man: People are more likely to drink your vodka if they think all their coolest friends are drinking it.
- Women: So, we pay for a big party at the home of a Springfield trendsetter.
- Man: Your Brockman, Your Bumblebee Man...
- Women: He invites his cool friends, we serve free cocktails, made with your vodka, generating buzz.
- Krusty: We got Buzz!
- Women: Positive Buzz.
- Krusty: That exists? Wow.
- Women: So, all you have to do is find one of your loyal fans whose house we can trash and friends you can exploit.
- (metallic creaking)
- Women: (gasps)
- Krusty: (grunts) I need a drink. (A Monkey comes the drink for Absolut Krusty) Not that! NEVER that!
- Homer: So, uh, why are you here? Is it about that unauthorized Krusty lookalike I hired for Lisa's first communion? What was his name?
- Lisa: Krappy the Klunk. See?
- Women: Homer, we're here to throw the most redonkulous marketing outreach this town's ever seen. All you have to do is invite every cool person you know.
- Bart: Hey, I wrote the application. Do any of my friends get to come?
- Man: One Friend. He can listen to music with headphones on, he gets one slice of cheese pizza, and if the party gets slow, he has to pretend to let Krusty save him from drowning.
- Women: Redonkulous!
- Man: Off the dilge!
- Mr. Burns: You were willing to send me over a waterfall to save your family, but you cut our operating expenses by 6%, so you're forgiven.
- Kevin Michael Richardson: (To Julius and Bernice Hibbert) So the car in front of us forgot to validate his (notices Mr. Burns stands beside him) Uh...
- Mr. Burns: (giggles) I was in an anecdote once.
- Dr. Hibbert: Uh... (look at his watch) I have a surgery in the morning! (leaves with Bernice)
- Kevin Michael Richardson: Yeah, and I'm the one having the surgery! (leaves Mr. Burns alone)
- Bart: (reading to Lisa) But when the helpful voice was silent, "the daily lesson over, the beloved presence gone, and nothing remained but loneliness and grief, then Jo found her promise very hard to keep.
- Lisa: We did it Bart!! (hugs Bart, scaring him) I'm a mentor!!
- Bart: Big deal! you taught me to read one book.
- Lisa: No, Bart. You can read other books too!
- Bart: (surprised) What?