|The Joy of Sect||
- Lisa: Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
- Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
- Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
- Homer: Wait! I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that Internal Affairs was setting them up?
- Male Movementarian: What are you talking about!? There's nothing like that in there.
- Homer: You see, when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span.
- Female Movementarian: But our point is very simple. You see, when...
- Homer: (pointing outside) Oh, look! A bird! (Homer leaves the room chasing the bird)
- Male Movementarian: Attention everyone. Let's all give thanks to The Leader for this glorious day!
- Male and Female Movementarians: (chanting) The Leader is good. The Leader is great. We surrender our will as of this date!
- Everyone: (chanting, except Homer) The Leader is good. The Leader is great. We surrender our will as of this date!
- Female Movementarian: It's no use. He's obviously the most powerful mind we've ever dealt with!
- Male Movementarian: Or... (chanting on the rythm of Batman's Theme Song) Na na na na na na na na Leader! Na na na na na na na na Leader!
- Everyone: (chanting, except Homer) Na na na na na na na na Leader! Na na na na na na na na Leader! Leader! Leader! Leader!
- Homer: Batman! I mean, Leader! I love the Leader!
- Marge: (To Homer) You what?
- Homer: Come again Marge?
- Marge: You what?
- Homer: I've joined the Movementarians. And so have all of you.
- Marge: We what?
- Homer: All I had to give them was our life savings, the deed to the house and a commitment of 10 trillion years of labor.
- Marge: I can't go along with this, Homer.
- Homer: Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my family.
- Lisa: Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?
- Homer: I have not been brainwashed. (In a lower tone, scaring Lisa) Kill the girl, kill the girl.
- Bart: Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives?
- Marge: (to Homer) When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
- Mrs. Krabappel: And who can tell me where thunder and lightning come from? Yes, Bart!?
- Bart: The Leader, ma'am.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Very good, Bart! And who invented Morse code?
- Bart: Oh... I should know this one! Th... The Leader!?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Ah! Correct again.
- Lisa: (yelling) He's wrong! You're wrong!! The whole damn system is wrong!! (She screams and kicks the table)
- Mrs. Krabappel: What's the matter Lisa? You used to be such a good student. Don't you want to please your teachers and get good grades?
- Lisa: (sighs) Grades!?
- (As Reverend Lovejoy tries to knock Homer out with a baseball bat)
- Willie: Give me that, you noodle-armed choir boy! (hits Homer, but it still doesn't knock him out)
- Reverend Lovejoy: Well, that didn't do it, Mr. Kilt.
- Lisa: It's great that we can all think for ourselves again.
- TV Announcer: You are watching FOX.
- Family: (Robotically) We are watching FOX.