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The Haw-Hawed Couple/Quotes

< The Haw-Hawed Couple

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Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)
The Haw-Hawed Couple
Kill Gil, Volumes I & II
Lisa: Mom, Bart's drinking coffee!
Bart: It's not coffee, it's hot Pepsi!

Homer: They killed Graystache!
Electrician: (outside Lisa's bedroom window, fixing a transformer) Thanks for the spoiler, big mouth! (throws a copy of the book at Homer)

(Bart is staring at Nelson's vest in care, when Nelson rides by on his bike.)
Nelson: Ha-ha! I touched your heart!

Milhouse: Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

Lisa: (to Bart) You actually convinced people not to go to Nelson's party?
Bart: Yup, he'll be all alone on his birthday. Oh, I wish I could see it. (impersonating Nelson) "Boo hoo, I'm Nelson. (fake crying) No one likes me."
Marge: Bartholomew J. Simpson, how can you be so mean?
Bart: What are you do about it? (Marge whacks him on the head with a spoon.) Hey!
Marge: I'll whack you with the whole salad set if you don't start thinking about others. You are going to that party.
Bart: Mom, I can't go! No one else is.
Marge: Well, if no one else jumped off the Empire State Building, would you not jump?
Bart: (confused) Kind of..
Lisa: Aw, come on, Bart. The party will be fun. Nelson's not bad. All he needs is a little kindness. (stifles giggles)
Marge: Lisa, you're never gonna get a husband by being sarcastic.
Lisa: All right, no husband.
Marge: You're getting a husband! (to Bart) And you are going to that party.

Homer: (tucking Lisa into bed) Okay. Tucked in tight, glass of water, night light on, no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night!

Bart: Where is Nelson?
Principal Skinner: I'm sorry. Nelson never woke up.
Bart: What?!
Principal Skinner: Never woke up because he never passed out...he's right over there.

Homer: No man should have to out live his fictional wizard! (sobs)

Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.
[After Martin's line, a title appears: fag•got (fag´• et) n. a bundle of sticks for fuel. (Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks)]
Bart: Well said! If we all stand together and Nelson is helpless! (in chant) Hell, no! We won't show! Hell, no!
All the kids: (joining in) We won't show! Hell, no! We won't show! Hell, no! We won't show!
Groundskeeper Willie: (puts the brake on his tractor, hops off, and joins in) Hell, no! I won't mow!
Principal Skinner: Willie, you're fired with complete loss of pension.
Groundskeeper Willie: (slams his fist on the tractor) Darn it!

Apu: (reacting to Milhouse trying to hang out again with Bart) Aw, come on, Bart. Throw the dork a bone.

Homer: Time to do what I do best: Lie to a child.

Malucious Krubb: Choice, Greystach defeat me or save the girl. (Angelica is in the hourglass suffocating)
Homer: (reading) Greystach looked Malucious in the eye and said:
Greystach: Moustache powers: Activate! (His mustache stretches and folds Maluicious into an envelope, puts him in a mailbox and throws him into a dragon)
Maluicious: Oh man, I can't believe you beat me but you did!
Angelica: I somehow escaped from the hourglass!
(Greystach and Angelica high-five)
Greystach: Now to go on living! (They drive off in a Ferrari)
Homer: The End!
Lisa: Is that really how it ends? What happened to the Melinical council?
Home: Uh, they went to Star Wars land and fought star wars.


Season 17 Season 18 Quotes Season 19
The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her HomerJazzy and the PussycatsPlease Homer, Don't Hammer 'EmTreehouse of Horror XVIIG.I. (Annoyed Grunt)Moe'N'a LisaIce Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)The Haw-Hawed CoupleKill Gil, Volumes I & IIThe Wife AquaticRevenge is a Dish Best Served Three TimesLittle Big GirlSpringfield UpYokel ChordsRome-Old and Julie-EhHomerazziMarge GamerThe Boys of BummerCrook and LadderStop or My Dog Will Shoot!24 MinutesYou Kent Always Say What You Want