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ā—„ Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life
The Fool Monty
How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window? ā–ŗ
Smithers: I'm so happy I could, hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.

Homer: The richest man in town is ours to control. He will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction and anything else my limited imagination can come up with.

Homer: This town can't teach its kids or collect its garbage, but we lead the nation in pointless revenge.

Smithers: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.

Mr. Burns: I want to die quietly on my own term crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can. Good bye, insufficiently cruel world!

Mayor Quimby: (about Mr. Burns) Give him what he wants. He's the only tax payer in this town.

Marge: (Jeffery Albertson, dressed as Wolverine) This isn't a line for a movie. Why are you in costume?
Jeffery Albertson: Because you see, I'm afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not. (retracts claws) Snikt, Snikt!
(An ice cream truck passes by; Albertson reaches for his wallet but scratches himself with claws)
Jeffery Albertson: Ow! Need acceptable currency for delicious treat.

Mr. Burns: I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.

Mayor Quimby: Please use your time in line wisely to Sophie's Choice your child.

Fox News Helicopter Pilot: (as the Fox News representative leaves, the helicopter falls) Gaah! We're unbalanced! That's not fair!

Kent Brockman: A philantropist. A humanitarian. A man of peace. These are among the people who have come to spit on Montgomery Burns' grave.

Mr. Burns: You my mommy daddy puppy?
Bart: Whoa! Your brains have gone oatmeal.
Mr. Burns: My name oatmeal?
Bart: This is too weird. (leaves)
Mr. Burns: Wait for oatmeal.

Mr. Burns: I haven't a friend in the world.
Smithers: You have me, sir.
Mr. Burns: I pay you, Smithers. No love can come from one man paying another.
Smithers: Well, actually...
Mr. Burns: I'll retire to my bed.
Smithers: That's where everyone put their coats.
Mr. Burns: Throw them in my woodchipper and use the remains to wash my car.
(Smithers tosses coats out window and into woodchipper, the shreds going into a bin marked "rags".)
Mr. Burns: Why does everyone hate me?


ā—„ Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23 ā–ŗ
Elementary School Musical ā€¢ Loan-a Lisa ā€¢ MoneyBART ā€¢ Treehouse of Horror XXI ā€¢ Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life ā€¢ The Fool Monty ā€¢ How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? ā€¢ The Fight Before Christmas ā€¢ Donnie Fatso ā€¢ Moms I'd Like to Forget ā€¢ Flaming Moe ā€¢ Homer the Father ā€¢ The Blue and the Gray ā€¢ Angry Dad: The Movie ā€¢ The Scorpion's Tale ā€¢ A Midsummer's Nice Dream ā€¢ Love is a Many Strangled Thing ā€¢ The Great Simpsina ā€¢ The Real Housewives of Fat Tony ā€¢ Homer Scissorhands ā€¢ 500 Keys ā€¢ The Ned-liest Catch
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