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The Fool Monty/Quotes

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Episode
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Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life
The Fool Monty
How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?
Smithers: I'm so happy I could, hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.

Homer: The richest man in town is ours to control. He will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction and anything else my limited imagination can come up with.

Homer: This town can't teach its kids or collect its garbage, but we lead the nation in pointless revenge.

Smithers: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.

Mr. Burns: I want to die quietly on my own term crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can. Good bye, insufficiently cruel world!

Mayor Quimby: (about Mr. Burns) Give him what he wants. He's the only tax payer in this town.

Marge: (to Comic Book Guy, dressed as Wolverine) This isn't a line for a movie. Why are you in costume?
Comic Book Guy: Because you see, I'm afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not. (retracts claws) Snikt, Snikt!
(Ice cream truck passes by; Comic Book Guy reaches for wallet but scratches himself with claws)
Comic Book Guy: Ow! Need acceptable currency for delicious treat.

Mr. Burns: I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.

Mayor Quimby: Please use your time in line wisely to Sophie's Choice your child.

Fox News Helicopter Pilot: (as the Fox News representative leaves, the helicopter falls) Gaah! We're unbalanced! That's not fair!

Kent Brockman: A philantropist. A humanitarian. A man of peace. These are among the people who have come to spit on Montgomery Burns' grave.

Mr. Burns: You my mommy daddy puppy?
Bart: Whoa! Your brains've gone oatmeal.
Mr. Burns: My name oatmeal?
Bart: This is too weird. (leaves)
Mr. Burns: Wait for oatmeal.

Mr. Burns: I haven't a friend in the world.
Smithers: You have me, sir.
Mr. Burns: I pay you, Smithers. No love can come from one man paying another.
Smithers: Well, actually...
Mr. Burns: I'll retire to my bed.
Smithers: That's where everyone put their coats.
Mr. Burns: Throw them in my woodchipper and use the remains to wash my car.
(Smithers tosses coats out window and into woodchipper, the shreds going into a bin marked "rags".)
Mr. Burns: Why does everyone hate me?


Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch

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