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ā—„ The Secret War of Lisa Simpson
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
The Principal and the Pauper ā–ŗ
(After Homer destroys the car boot)
Homer: Hehe, Homer one. New York nothin'. (Steps on destroyed car boot) D'oh!

Bart: That took too long. How come we had to transfer in Atlanta twice?
Lisa: I just say we should have paid the extra $1.50 and got a bus with restrooms!

Marge: We'll meet you in Central Park at 5:00.
Homer: Okay, but not a minute later. Once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy. (looks at person on street) I'm on to you!

Marge: I don't think it's a good idea to be driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: (Building a car out of a mattress) Okay, Marge, either you can stand there and complain, or you can get started knitting me those seatbelts.

Homer: New York is a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes.

Barney: I can't drink. I'm the designated driver.
Duffman: Ah, that's swell. Duff Beer wholeheartedly supports the designated driver system. Now, who wants to party?!

Homer: Alright New York, I'm comin' back! But you're not gettin' this! (throws his wallet into the fireplace)
Lisa: Dad, our baby pictures were in there!
Homer: Don't you start!

Bart: (at top of the Statue of Liberty) Hey, immigrants! Beat it! Country's full!
Sailor: OK people, you heard the lady. Back into the hold. We'll try Canada.

Lisa: (At a butcher's shop) Mom, are those rabbits dead?
Marge: No, no, Lisa they're just sleeping, upside downā€¦and inside out.

Lisa: Here's a better idea. You give me your address and I'll write to you.
Bum: OK. Send it to Jesus, uh, care of the Pentagon.

Lisa: (reading the letter from New York) Dear motorist, your vehicle is illegally parked in the burrough of Manhattan.
Homer: My vehicle!
Lisa: If you do not remedy this malparkage within 72 hours, your car will be thrown into the East River at your expense.

Lisa: Dad, you can't judge a place you've never been to.
Bart: Yeah, that's what people do in Russia.

Homer: Now remember, criminals prey on small town folk like us. So if anybody asks, we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks.
Marge: Homer, you're scaring the children.

Fireworks Store Owner: (after Bart sets off some fireworks) Oh, no! Chinese fire drill! Serious this time!

[While watching the "Kickin' It" musical]
Bart: When I grow up, I want to be in the Betty Ford Center.
Marge: You better start saving now. It's very expensive.
Lisa: [shushes Marge] They're strapping down Liza Minelli.

Taxi Driver: (to Homer when he's driving his car with the boot on) Get off the road, you freakin' maniac!
Bicyclist: (being dragged by taxi driver) Yeah, you jackass!
Homer: Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!

Marge: (to Homer) Of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.'s.


ā—„ Season 8 Season 9 Quotes Season 10 ā–ŗ
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson ā€¢ The Principal and the Pauper ā€¢ Lisa's Sax ā€¢ Treehouse of Horror VIII ā€¢ The Cartridge Family ā€¢ Bart Star ā€¢ The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons ā€¢ Lisa the Skeptic ā€¢ Realty Bites ā€¢ Miracle on Evergreen Terrace ā€¢ All Singing, All Dancing ā€¢ Bart Carny ā€¢ The Joy of Sect ā€¢ Das Bus ā€¢ The Last Temptation of Krust ā€¢ Dumbbell Indemnity ā€¢ Lisa the Simpson ā€¢ This Little Wiggy ā€¢ Simpson Tide ā€¢ The Trouble with Trillions ā€¢ Girly Edition ā€¢ Trash of the Titans ā€¢ King of the Hill ā€¢ Lost Our Lisa ā€¢ Natural Born Kissers
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