The Amendment Song

The Amendment Song is a parody of the popular Schoolhouse Rock! song "I'm Just a Bill", even going so far as using the original singer, Jack Sheldon. It is briefly shown as a replacement for Itchy & Scratchy on The Krusty the Clown Show in the episode "The Day the Violence Died". The lyrics were written by John Swartzwelder and the music by Alf Clausen. It is the eleventh track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield.


Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress?
I'm not garbage.
I'm an Amendment-to-Be,
Yes, an Amendment-to-Be,
And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.
There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom,
I wanna make it legal
For policemen to beat 'em.
'Cos there's limits to our liberties,
Least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cos those liberal freaks go too far.
Well, why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution—
Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Now you're catching on.
What if people say you're not good enough to be in the constitution?
Then I'll crush all opposition to me,
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.
Good news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Oh yeah! Doors open, boys!
(Various amendments storm the steps of congress whooping, cheering and bringing guns and bombs)

Cultural References

  • One of the amendments does a Three Stooges Curly-esque 'Woop-woop-woop" while storming into Congress.