|Tennis the Menace||
- Lou: Hey Chief, we're gonna bust up that crack house tonight.
- Wiggum: We did that last night.
- Lou: Yeah, but this time we got the right address.
- Homer: Hey, that's great. Listen, I need a new doubles partner. My little girl's a lead weight.
- Serena Williams: You're dumping your own daughter?
- Homer: Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son!
- Serena: That's horrible!
- Venus Williams: Yeah, that's pretty low.
- Homer: (to Venus) Hmm.. you seem less disgusted, let's go!
- (At the human chessboard on the grounds of Burns Manor...)
- Black pawn: Hey, Burns has been gone for a while.
- Black rook: (whispering) Let's make a run for it.
- (They leave.)
- Black king: Come back, fools! Protect me!
- (The white queen, a white rook, and a white bishop beat up the undefended black king, while the remaining black rook watches, powerless to help.)
- Smithers: Oh, where did you buy that novelty hand, sir?
- Mr. Burns: This? Oh that's just fluid collecting.
- Marge: And it's gonna do wonders for our social life!
- Homer: Yeah, it’s nice to entertain friends and have people over.
- Ned: Hey, you got a tennis court?
- Homer: Keep walking, Flanders.
- Ned: Will do...
- Homer: Faster!
- Grandpa: (singing) What's new, Pussycat? (cracks his knee) Owww, ow ow ow ow! What's new, Pussycat? (cracks his back back) Ohhhhh, God noooo!
- Homer: (In a psychiatry session with Lisa) It's obvious what's happening. I'm being replaced by a younger more in-your-face version of me!
- Lisa: Dad, you're just going through a classic oedipal anxiety. You remember the story of Oedipus, don't you?
- Homer: Hm... maybe five bucks would refresh my memory.
- Lisa: (Sighs) Oedipus killed his father and married his mother.
- Homer: Ugh! Who pays for that wedding?
- Lisa: I'm just saying you feel threatened by Bart, but it's all in your head.
- Homer: You're right. But just to be safe, maybe I should chain him up!
- Lisa: Dad! I think you're overreacting.
- Homer: I think you're underreacting!
- Lisa: This session is over!
- Homer: This session is under!
- Lisa: Goodbye! (leaves)
- Homer: Badbye!
- Bart: Telegram for Lisa Simpson! (pretends to open envelope)
- Homer: Don't listen! It's a trick!
- Bart: "Dear Lisa, Psyche! Psyche, psyche, psyche! Signed, Super Psyche".
- Homer: I think he's trying to psyche you out.
- Marge: Look, we're all trying to have dinner, so why don't we just psyche, psyche, psyche!