Ten Commandments of Bart is the fifth track on The Yellow Album. It is a rap song done by Bart with some help from Lisa, Maggie and Homer. The song was written by Simpsons creator Matt Groening and Greg Haver.
Lyrics
- Bart:
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
- Singers:
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Bart:
- Ladies and gentlemen, hello, it's Bart again.
- Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend,
- 'Cause like it or lump it, this is Simpson-style,
- And this I demand: Don't touch that dial!
- I got your attention, so you'd better listen up!
- Dance if you must, but please don't interrupt!
- 'Cause the singing I'm slingin' comes straight from the heart.
- I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart".
- Singers:
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Bart:
- Let us begin with commandment number ten:
- Thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end.
- Shake it for your mama, and shake it for when
- You wanna party-harty and get down in the den!
- Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip.
- You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip.
- By this, I mean shake your glutius maximus,
- Make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!
- Now comes a time for commandment number nine.
- It's goes something like this: thou shalt always make rhymes.
- 'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news.
- Better than CNN, better than Family Values.
- Don't get me misconstrued, I'm not tryin' to be crude,
- But a bad attitude will put you in a good mood.
- It ain't true that our culture's in a decline,
- Just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line.
- (bass synth solo)
- Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin',
- The hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'.
- Hold on to your hats, because here come the scratchin'!
- (dj does some scratching and the song stops abruplty)
- Who did that?
- (song restarts abruptly)
- Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight,
- Goes exactly like this: Thou shall procrastinate!
- Put another way, this means you must be late,
- Whenever you can, make everybody wait.
- When homework is due, don't give in to fate.
- But do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it.
- Of all the commandments, none can be greater...
- If you want more details, come back later!
- Singers:
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Bart:
- Movin' right along, here's commandment number seven:
- Thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to heaven.
- You don't say "No," you do say "Yo!"
- You hear bad songs, turn up on the radio.
- Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?
- You're going down low, where the rocks grow.
- The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video
- Except no guitars, 'cause, wouldn't ya know,
- It's swell down in hell except...
- The Devil plays the banjo.
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
- Next up here is commandment number six,
- It goes like this: Thou shalt dance like lunatics.
- Got to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'
- And hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'.
- (the drums drop out)
- Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke.
- Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke.
- Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin',
- I need your help, so, Maggie, please start suckin'.
- (Maggie sucks her pacifier rhythmically)
- Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require,
- An inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier.
- (beat box drops back in, but Maggie continues to suck)
- And now we arrive at commandment number five.
- Short and sweet: Thou shalt be alive.
- Take off your pants, strut around in the nude.
- If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?"
- Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar.
- The countdown continues: commandment number four!
- I say unto you: Thou shalt slam the door.
- Wake up the neighbors, that's what it's for.
- Slam it again. And slam it some more.
- Now you got a beat that never happened before.
- Singers:
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Bart:
- Which brings us on to commandment number three:
- Thou shalt question authority.
- 'Cause authority hates curiosity,
- Which leads straight to originality.
- From there, my friends, spontaneity.
- And the downward spots straight to mockery.
- Then a hop and a skip to mutiny.
- Then mutiny leads to anarchy.
- Then a...
- (Homer cuts Bart off)
- Homer:
- Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!
- Bart:
- Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:
- Thou shalt do exactly what you wanna do.
- Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew,
- Raid a taboo, paint your head blue.
- If you're bald, go buy a toupee.
- If you're starved, go eat a souflee.
- If you're crazy, get on the subway.
- If you're bored, dance on the freeway.
- If you're sexy, put on negligee.
- 'Cause this is what I have to say:
- Hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay.
- Besides that, man, eh, what the hay!
- And now, at last it's commandment number one.
- Put quite simply,
- Bart and Singers:
- Thou shalt have fun!
- Singers:
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (If you wanna be happy!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
- Thou shall have fun!
- Thou shalt have fun!
- Lisa:
- That was pretty cool, huh? (giggles)