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The Old Man and the Key
Tales from the Public Domain
Blame It on Lisa
Lisa: And that´s the greatest story ever written.
Bart: Are you crazy? I can´t believe a play where every character becomes murdered can be so boring.
Homer: Son, it's not only a great play, but also became a great movie called... Ghostbusters!
(Everyone starts dancing to the Ghostbusters theme)

D'oh, Brother Where Art Thou?[]

Odysseus (Homer): (After eating his friends that Circe turned into pigs with her potion) Ah, I’m still hungry.
Circe (Lindsay Naegle): Didn't you eat enough of your friends.
Odysseus: THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS!
Circe: Yes, been saying that for hours.
Odysseus: That's it! I'm going home. Which way to Ithaca?
Circe: It's not so easy. You must go through Hades, crossing the River Styx.

[As Styx music plays in the background]
Odysseus: Oh this truly is hell!

Hot Child in the City[]

Bart: Joan, give me your dessert!
Joan of Arc (Lisa): C'mon, that was just you, Bart
God: JOAN, GIVE ME YOUR DESSERT!
Joan of Arc: Ok, God.

Joan of Arc: You can't stop me! I WAS SENT…BY GOD! (Willie grabs her and puts her into a bag) I want my mommy!

Do the Bard, Man[]

Claudius (Moe): I didn't use that much poison! (The crowd gasps) I mean, I didn't use that much poi, son! At the... royal luau.

Hamlet (Bart): The play's the thing in which I'll catch the conscience of the king.
Claudius: Catch my conscience? What are you talking about?
Hamlet: Hey! You're not supposed to be able to hear me! It was a soliloquy.
Claudius: Oh, then here's my soliloquy. Note to self, kill that kid.


Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14
Treehouse of Horror XIIThe Parent RapHomer the MoeA Hunka Hunka Burns in LoveThe Blunder YearsShe of Little FaithBrawl in the FamilySweets and Sour MargeJaws Wired ShutHalf-Decent ProposalThe Bart Wants What it WantsThe Lastest Gun in the WestThe Old Man and the KeyTales from the Public DomainBlame it on LisaWeekend at Burnsie'sGump RoastI Am Furious (Yellow)The Sweetest ApuLittle Girl in the Big TenThe Frying GamePoppa's Got a Brand New Badge
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