Homer gets a letter from the library telling him about an overdue book. He checked it out when Bart was born to have something to read his child. Lisa suggests that he read them some stories from it now.
Homer is Odysseus, and delivers the King of Troy Ned Flanders a Trojan horse. He and his army, including Apu, Lenny, Moe, Professor Frink and Carl, kill all of Troy’s citizens and win. However, he refuses to sacrifice a sheep, angering the gods, Zeus, Dionysus, and Poseidon (Mayor Quimby, Barney and the Sea Captain). Poseidon literally blows Odysseus and his crew to the Sirens (Patty and Selma) and visit Circe (Lindsey Naegle), who turns his crew into pigs, that Homer eats. Circe orders Odysseus to go through Hades, crossing the River Styx, in order to go home so he can see Penelope (Marge) and Telemachus (Bart). When he arrives back to Ithaca, he spears all of the people trying to please Penelope.
Joan of Arc (Lisa), gets told by God to lead the French to victory. So she leads the French against the English in the Hundred Years' War. During a battle, the English capture Joan and put her on trial. She is accused of witchcraft, and sentenced to death. When Joan claims that she was following God’s will, an English/Scottish solider (Groundskeeper Willie) reveals that he too was chosen by God, but to lead the English armies against the French. God’s voice then excuses Himself by revealing that the two were never supposed to meet.
As they read the end, Joan of Arc is being burnt at the stake. Lisa asks Homer “Do they actually burn her?” Marge then interrupts, and rips out the last page of the story, claiming that Sir Lancelot rescues her, and they escape and live in a spaceship before eating the page and laughing nervously, mentioning, "Well, at least it was easier to chew than that Bambi video." Marge's interrupting means that Joan of Arc was likely burned to death at the end.
Prince Hamlet's (Bart) uncle Claudius (Moe) marries Gertrude (Marge) after killing King Hamlet (Homer) by poison. The King returns to his son as a ghost, telling him of the betrayal and requesting that his death be avenged. Prince Hamlet, with the help of a professional actor (Krusty), puts on a play to make Claudius reveal himself to be guilty, and because Hamlet knows what he did, Claudius attempts to kill him. Hamlet, aiming to kill Claudius, accidentally kills Polonius (Chief Wiggum). His son, Laertes (Ralph Wiggum), proposes to duel Prince Hamlet for revenge. As his “practice stab,” Laertes kills himself, (this moment is cut from channel 4 arings of the episode) and Hamlet proceeds to murder Claudius. Rosencarl and Guildenlenny (Carl and Lenny), meanwhile, have been covered in poison, along with food, curtains and other objects in the room, and kill each other with a high five. Hamlet walks away to celebrate, but he slips on some blood and dies. Seeing a big mess she does not want to clean up, Gertrude commits suicide by hitting herself with a mace and everyone is dead.