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- Homer: I'm going to find out what Dondelinger did last summer! Twenty-two years ago! In the winter!
- (After the principal switches the ballot boxes so Vance would win class president)
- Principal: (to Carl and Lenny) You two, I want you to dispose of this ballot box.
- Lenny: Only if you do us a favor.
- Principal: What is it?
- Carl: Our parents want us to go to this place called "college".
- Lenny: Yeah, bail us out and we'll get rid of the box.
- Principal: (sighs) Fine, but if you mess up, it's Ohio College for both of you!
- Carl and Lenny: AARRGHH!
- (After Homer finds out what his life would have been like after seeing the events inside a tub of magic sauce)
- Homer: Please help me! How can I have that life back!
- Chef: Ask the garlic bread...
- Homer: (picks up the bread) Oh garlic bread, please guide me!
- Chef: HAHAHA, look, the stupid fat man is talking to the garlic bread! HAHAHA!
- (After Homer leaves the Italian restaurant)
- Homer: Looks like I'll never have a life like Vance has.
- Marge: Homer close your eyes...
- (The family lead Homer to the Springfield Wall of Fame)
- Marge: Now open!
- (Homer opens his eyes and see's a plaque on the wall of fame dedicated to him)
- Homer: Woohoo! wait... how did I get on the wall of fame?
- Bart: Hey, plaques come and plaques go.
- (The camera pans out to reveal Principal Skinner's plaque in the garbage can)
- Lisa: Dad, stop that.
- Homer: "D'oh" or "Woo Hoo"?
- Lisa: Both.