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ā—„ Brawl in the Family
Sweets and Sour Marge
Jaws Wired Shut ā–ŗ
Lou: Even this promotional Johnny Depp from the movie "Chocolat"?
Chief Wiggum: Sure, we melted for him. Now he's gonna do likewise.
[Lou throws the chocolate figure in the fire; the figure melts with is face turning into a screaming face and groaning]
Chief Wiggum: Alright, time to throw in the Butterfingers!
[Eddie throw a bunch of Butterfinger bars in the fire; the bars don't melt and glow radiation, then bounce off the fire, with one of them landing into Eddie's hand]
Eddie: Hm, it's not even singed.
Chief Wiggum: Even the fire doesn't want them.

Suicidal man: (sad) Goodbye, cruel world. (lands on the ball of fellow Springfield), (cheered up) Hello, ironic twist!

Lenny: Well, I say the most clothespins a man could attach to his face is 87.
Carl: You counting the neck?
Lenny: You know I am.
Carl: All right outside.
(Suddenly, Homer appears, bathed in golden light, holding the Duff record book over his head)
Homer: Peace, my brothers. All shall be looked up. (He looks through the books) Let's see ... most clothespins swallowed, inserted, here we go -- clipped to face and neck: 116. (He finds a picture of a man with the pins on his head.)
Lenny: Oh. Geez, I was wrong. But I ain't angry.
Carl: And I'm magnanimous in victory.

Garth Motherloving: Hey, Marge, I'm not up on the current slang. Do the kids still say, "Get the hell out of my office?"

Gil: You don't want old Gil going door to door, I've made too many enemies selling suckless vacuum cleaners and Rick James Bibles.

Mr. Burns: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Apu: I'm rowing as fast as I can, sir.
Mr. Burns: No, I'm having one.

Bart: Why would Duff Beer put out a book?
Lisa: It was originally published to settle arguments in taverns.
Homer: She said "tavern"! I'm going to Moe's! (Runs away)
Marge: I never agreed to that rule!

Homer: Oh, here's a good one: The World's Most Overrated Saint.
Marge, Lisa and Bart: Francis of Assisi.
Homer: Aw, I've used up all these records.
Bart: Why don't you try to set a record, dad?
Homer: That's a great idea! Do you think I could run a mile in three and a half minutes?
Lisa: Only on Mars.
Homer: The Simpsons are going to Mars! So pack your...or maybe I'll think of something else.

The entire population of Springfield fails to make a human pyramid and collapses onto a truck scale, totaling 64,152 lbs. and making Springfield the World's Fattest Town)
Homer: Woo-hoo! In your face, Milwaukee!


ā—„ Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14 ā–ŗ
Treehouse of Horror XII ā€¢ The Parent Rap ā€¢ Homer the Moe ā€¢ A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love ā€¢ The Blunder Years ā€¢ She of Little Faith ā€¢ Brawl in the Family ā€¢ Sweets and Sour Marge ā€¢ Jaws Wired Shut ā€¢ Half-Decent Proposal ā€¢ The Bart Wants What it Wants ā€¢ The Lastest Gun in the West ā€¢ The Old Man and the Key ā€¢ Tales from the Public Domain ā€¢ Blame it on Lisa ā€¢ Weekend at Burnsie's ā€¢ Gump Roast ā€¢ I Am Furious (Yellow) ā€¢ The Sweetest Apu ā€¢ Little Girl in the Big Ten ā€¢ The Frying Game ā€¢ Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge
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