|Summer of 4 Ft. 2||
- Bart: This is the worst Fourth of July ever. I hate America.
- Erin: Who does he think he is, with that slingshot in his back pocket? Dennis the Menace?
- (The school bell rings)
- Milhouse: School's out! Up yours, Krabappel!
- (Milhouse then runs out of the classroom)
- Krabappel: I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer doesn't start until end of the day, (points to a clock that reads 9:00 A.M.) not at the beginning.
- Lou: (enters the classroom with Milhouse) Here you go, Ma'am.
- Krabappel: Quick work! How did you know he was gonna run?
- Lou: We got someone on the inside.
- (Several students, including Nelson Muntz and one of the twins, glare angrily at Martin Prince, who can only manage a sheepish grin.)
- (Ned Flanders begins work on Homer's sump pump problem)
- Ned: Hello Mr. Brown-ground, whatcha got for me?
- Lisa: (lamenting her lack of friends) These are my only friends. Grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
- Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
- (Lisa walks by the town library, and imagines the literary figures coming to life. The Mad Hatter and Alice from Alice in Wonderland appears)
- Alice: (timidly) Won't you join our tea party? It'd be ever so- don't do it Lisa, it's a trick!
- (Suddenly, the Mad Hatter grabs Alice, and holds a loaded gun to her temple)
- Alice: Run! Run!
- Lisa: Like y'know, whatever.
- Lisa: (After a seagull interrupts her meeting the new kids) "You don't control the birds. You will someday, but not now."
- Milhouse: Hey Bart! Lisa's skateboarding with some cool kids...and she looks like Blossom!
- (While playing the 'Mystery Date' game in the Flanders' beach house, Homer notices the similarity of the 'dud' character to Milhouse)
- Homer: Hey! He looks just like you, poindexter!
- Valu-Mart Clerk: The M-320: Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.
- (Marge is digging through the groceries Homer bought at the store)
- Marge: Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight Homer, but count me out! Didn't you buy any meat?
- Homer: (patting the M-320) He he he, This baby's sure to kill somethin'!
- (Lisa's friends have decorated Homer's car with sea shells and starfish, the shells spelling Lisa Rules)
- Lisa: This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever-----
- (Homer's shadow appears clearly showing Homer is furious)
- Homer: Sweet Merciful crap! My car!
- [The family leaves for the vacation]
- Marge: Wave bye bye to our house Maggie. Bye bye tree.
- Homer: Bye bye job.
- Bart: Bye bye toothbrush.
- Lisa: Bye bye Lisa Simpson.
- Bart: When the hell are we getting to...where the hell are we going?
- Marge: Mmm. It's called Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport. It's known as America's scrod basket.
- Bart: I thought Springfield was America's scrod basket.
- Marge: No, Springfield is America's crud bucket. At least according to Newsweek.
- (Lisa is eating in the kitchen and Marge is in the background. Bart enters)
- Bart: Hey Lis. (sits beside her) I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough but it did teach you a lesson. It's important to be yourself. (Marge leaves)
- Lisa: (Grabs Bart by his shirt and whispers to him) I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean, little sneak! (grabs a syrup bottle) You cost me my only friends! (holds the bottle on top of Bart's head, threatening him) You've ruined my life! (squeezes the bottle, but Marge re-enters the room. Lisa starts eating again and Bart looks at Lisa scared)
- Marge: Hey kids! there's a carnival tonight!
- Milhouse: (appears from behind a cereal box) Oh boy, a carnival!
- Homer: (in front of the Li'l Valu-Mart) Ah! I bet this place sells illegal fireworks. Just go in and act casual like you buy 'em all the time. (enters the store and talks to the clerk) Hi. Um- Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields (whispering) and some illegal fireworks AND one of those disposable enemas. no, make it two.
- Li'l Valu-Mark Clerk: My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is prohibited in this state and is punishable by- (a costumer leaves the store) Follow me.