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Stealing First Base/Quotes

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Episode
References
Gags
Appearances
Gallery
Quotes
Credits
Postcards From the Wedge
Stealing First Base
The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed
Ms. Hoover: There was a mix-up with your test. You got an A+++. Seems the F belonged to Ralph.
Ralph: I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers!

Bart: I'm sorry!
Nikki: Ugh! You're always apologizing.

Nikki: What do you mean about 'us'?
Bart: Well, like, uh, aren't you my girlfriend now?

Bart: I'm not gonna let you hurt me anymore.

Skinner: Any physical contact violates our school's no-touch policy.

Skinner: I prefer dead child to a lawsuit from your parents.

Kevin: Let's me touch your face. That's way, I can see you with my finger. Eww! I said your face, not your butt!

Bart: Nikki, thanks for saving my life.
Nikki: Look, can we just pretend that never happened? I don't want everyone at School to go around thinking I like you.
Bart: I don't get you. You're hot, you're cold. What is your deal?!
Nikki: Bart, you have some things to learn about women.
(shuts locker door)
Nikki: And I will never tell you what they are.
Bart: I give up! Smell ya later. (walks away)
Nikki: (kisses Bart on the cheek)
Bart: I love you!

Skinner: So the lesson is, children—
Michelle Obama: I'll tell them what the lesson is.
Chalmers: He's our Joe Biden.
Michelle Obama: Understood.

Homer: Finally, I get to see Bart in a school play.
Marge: Homer, that's not Bart. He's sitting next to you. (Points to Bart next to him)
Homer: (Staring hard at Skinner) Yeah, now that you mention it, he couldn't possibly fool anybody.
Skinner: Shut up, fatso.
Homer: Why, you little...! (rushes on stage and starts strangling Skinner)

Homer: Thanks to our new GPS, I can get to school in no time. (His Pink Sedan then departs home for school)
GPS Voice: Turn right in 50 m.
Homer: Oh, metres?!
Lisa: Dad, a metre is 3" longer than a yard (3 ft), which is 36", so 50 / (39 x 36) = ...
GPS Voice: You have missed your turn. Recalculating... Turn right in 5 m.


Season 20 Season 21 Quotes Season 22
Homer the WhopperBart Gets a "Z"The Great Wife HopeTreehouse of Horror XXThe Devil Wears NadaPranks and GreensRednecks and Broomsticks O Brother, Where Bart Thou?Thursdays with AbieOnce Upon a Time in SpringfieldMillion Dollar MaybeBoy Meets CurlThe Color YellowPostcards From the WedgeStealing First BaseThe Greatest Story Ever D'ohedAmerican History X-cellentChief of HeartsThe Squirt and the WhaleTo Surveil With LoveMoe Letter BluesThe Bob Next DoorJudge Me Tender

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