- Homer: Are we going to Disney World?
- Bart: No.
- Marge: Seaworld?
- Bart: Nope guess again.
- Lisa: Universal Studios?
- Bart: Sorry.
- Grampa: Leisure World?
- Bart: sorry Grampa.
- Grampa: Leisure World?
- Bart: Grampa you're not even going.
- Homer: Wait a minute I know where we're going. (groans) It's horrible there.
- [They fly over Epcot Center]
- Speaker: Welcome - to the electric car of the future! Sponsored by the gasoline producers of America.
- Electric Car: Hello, I am an electric car. I can't go very fast, or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay!
- Principal Skinner: I believe the only venue for me is the ride of broken dreams.
- Homer: Oh, you mean the Enron ride. Let's go.
- Enron Passenger: We're all gonna be rich!
- Bart: Hey wait a minute, man. You don't have to leave just because Superintendent Chalmers tells you to. You've spent your whole life following orders. From your mother, the army, Superintendent Chalmers. For once in your life, stand up for yourself, man.
- Principal Skinner: Okay, Bart.
- Edna Krabappel: Let's go, Seymour.
- Principal Skinner: Okay, Edna.
- Edna Krabappel: The topic for your research paper is World War I.
- Bart: Was that the one with Hitler, or the one with Merlin?
- Nelson: You idiot! Merlin was in Vietnam!
- (Edna Krabappel finds out she won Teacher of the Year)
- Edna Krabappel: I can´t believe it! This, after I accidentally showed the R-rated Romeo & Juliet. I thought that nipple would haunt me forever!
- Edna Krabappel: You've got to stop putting your mother ahead of me! We have a date!
- Principal Skinner: I'll be back in three hours. (sexily) Maybe less. (normal) But almost certainly more.
- (Little Richard is on stage)
- Homer: Purple Rain!
- Little Richard: SHUT UP!
- Homer: (excited) Michael Jackson told me to shut up.
- Teacher of the Year Judge: This is running long, we will just go ahead and name a winner.
- Simpsons: Edna! Edna!
- Teacher of the Year Judge: Julio Estudiante, an inner city math teacher who taught teenage gang members that differential equations are more powerful than bullets.
- Homer: What a rip, you all should be ashamed.
- Principal Skinner: Willie, you're no stranger to the inner workings of the female mind.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Aye. Willie's sent many a Vermont Teddy Bear.
- Principal Skinner: Well, I'm a little worried that, uh, with all this attention Edna may meet someone better.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Damn straight she will, ya brunch-eatin' popinjay! Yer woman's in Orlando, man! Ya can't take two steps there without fallin' into a tunnel of love!
- Principal Skinner: Oh, I've been a fool. I've gotta go after her!
- Groundskeeper Willie: (takes out his car keys) Take me car.
- (Skinner takes the keys and jumps off the window into Willie's yellow sports car. He drives away from the school in determination. He hears a beeping. Willie shows up on the viewscreen.)
- Groundskeeper Willie: Make sure ya fill it up with Techron gas. Ya don't want a case of the knocks. (ends transmission)