Principal Skinner: Great job, Nibbles! Now chew through my ball-sack!
Marge: They always pick the guy with the wires.
[While Homer watches the pre-football game show on TV]
Al: Pigskin Preview: Denver-Green Bay; who do you like?
Jerry: That's football, right? [the trio laughs] Well, I'm going to take the Broncos in this game, because the Packers will be blinded by Jerry's tie. [everyone laughs]
Homer: Heh-heh-heh. Tremendous
Al: I'm more worried about Al's jacket. How many stations can you get on that thing?
Wardrobe Manager: [walks into the camera view] All right, listen. I am sick of your jokes about the wardrobe. You people can dress yourselves! [walks off]
Third Man: Ahem. Well, folks, he's got a point, um, with all our unscripted horseplay, we sometimes don't think about..
Homer: [on the phone] Lenny! Are you watching this?
Lenny: [on the phone] Yeah, they really hurt that guy's feelings.
Homer: [on the phone] I know!
Marge: Finally, a circus full of whimsy and wonder.
Homer: Oh, yeah, that's way better than fun and excitement.
Lisa: [reading from a pamphlet] As French-Canadians, they don't believe in refunds or exploiting animals for entertainment.
Homer: Oh, I wanted to seem them fire a gorilla out of a cannon.
Sideshow Mel: A storm is coming! I can feel it in my bone.
Circus Ringmaster: Mesdames and Messieurs, it appears the cloud goddess is ripe with rain babies. We must run for our trucks.
[the audience heads for the exits]
Homer: Oh, no, you don't! I paid full price for this freak show. Now, nourish the child within me. [with a raised fist] Nourish!
[Bart and Lisa listen to the radio for school closing]
Radio Announcer: The following schools are closed today; Shelbyville, Ogdenville, Ogdenville Tech, and Springfield Elementary... [Bart and Lisa gasp in surprise]...My Dear Watson Detective School. [Bart groans] And lastly, Springfield Elementary School...[Bart and Lisa cheer] …is open! [Bart and Lisa groan] And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear... which is closed.
Principal Skinner: Children, I'm proud of you. Most of our students didn't bother to show up on this last day before Christmas Break, but you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage.
Milhouse: Hey, where are the teachers?
Principal Skinner: Eh, their union has called an emergency caucus.
[Scene cuts to the teachers at a ski lodge where they’re forming a conga line]