This Little Wiggy
Simpson Tide
The Trouble with Trillions
Homer: You know, Lisa, I've taken a lot from this country. Maybe it's time I gave something back.
Lisa: Are you thinking of joining the naval reserve?
Homer: Would you be proud of me?
Lisa: Yeah, sort of.
Homer: Then I will do it!
Homer: You know, Marge, joining the reserves was the best thing I ever did. I feel good about myself, I'm helping my country and later I'm going to get Gilligan's autograph.
Marge: I'm so proud of you, Homey!
Homer: Then I'll whomp him with my hat! (laughs)

Grampa: My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Ralph: (while wearing an earring) My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owies!

Sergeant: (to Homer) All right, Simpson, you don't like me and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Sergeant: All right, you like me, but I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me!

Homer: (to Moe) Damage report, Mr. Moe.
Moe: Sonar: out. Navigation: out. Radio: out.
Homer: Enough of what's out! What's in?
Moe: Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer.
Homer: Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.

Homer: Well guys, I won't be seeing you for a while.
Barney: Where you going?
Homer: I've joined the Naval Reserve!
Barney: Well, I'm not gonna let anything happen to my best friend. I'm joining too!
Moe: Well I'm not going to let anything happen to my two best customers. I'm joining too!
Apu: And although my religion strictly forbids military service, what the hey! I'm in too!

Female Officer: (to Homer) Fifteen seconds to collision! We need a decision.
Homer: Hmm, what would the Captain say in my spot?
Captain Tennille: (while in the torpedo tube) Don't fire the torpedoes!
Homer: Fire the torpedoes!

Lisa: Be careful, Dad.
Homer: Oh, Lisa, it's just war games. It's not like a game could hurt me. (begins imagining) Damn you, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots! Can't we all just get along?

Lenin: (upon being revived) Must crush capitalism!

Homer: You can't spell "dishonorable" without "honorable."

Lisa: (to Homer) I think you're a hero, Dad!
Homer: Well, I couldn't have done it without Bart. (to Bart) Boy, I guess I was wrong about that earring. It saved us all.
Bart: Hey, can I get a tattoo that says "Bite Me"? You never know when it might come in handy!
Homer: I don't think so, son.
Bart: King Cobra?
Homer: No.
Bart: Weapons-grade plutonium?
Homer: Ask your mother.
Bart: Knock-out drops?
Homer: No.
Bart: Ninja death stars?
Homer: Maybe for Christmas.

Season 8 Season 9 Quotes Season 10
The City of New York vs. Homer SimpsonThe Principal and the PauperLisa's SaxTreehouse of Horror VIIIThe Cartridge FamilyBart StarThe Two Mrs. NahasapeemapetilonsLisa the SkepticRealty BitesMiracle on Evergreen TerraceAll Singing, All DancingBart CarnyThe Joy of SectDas BusThe Last Temptation of KrustDumbbell IndemnityLisa the SimpsonThis Little WiggySimpson TideThe Trouble with TrillionsGirly EditionTrash of the TitansKing of the HillLost Our LisaNatural Born Kissers