Shoplifting/Quotes

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Shoplifting

Echo Canyon ►

Bart: I gotta have those candy bars.

Lisa: But Bart, we don't have any money.

Bart: There's gotta be a way.

Lisa: You better not be thinking about stealing those candy bars.

Bart: That's it!

Lisa: Better not, Bart!

Bart: [stuffs candy bars into his shorts] So long, suckers! [gets caught by the security guard] They got me!

Security Guard: You just sit right there and think about your crime, you dirty little shoplifter thief!

Bart: Yes sir. [sticks tongue out as the security guard leaves]

---

Grocery Store Manager: Is he scared?

Security Guard: I think I got that kid so scared he can't even see straight. [at one point his eyes "pops" out]

Grocery Store Manager: Well, good. Frighten him some more while I call his parents.

Lisa: Poor Bart.

---

Security Guard: Well, boy, it looks like the jig is-

Bart: I know my right. You can't home me; you ain't got no evidence, copper. [looks in mirror, with hands and mouth covered in chocolate. gulps] Uh, is it too late to make a full confession?

Marge: Your father and I are very disappointed in you, Bart.

Bart: Gee, I haven't noticed.

---

Homer: Bart!

Marge: What have you learned from this experience, Bart?

Bart: Well, Mom, I might have been caught and had a few bad moments there, but I gotta admit, the chocolate was delish.

---

Marge: No, no, no, Bart the lesson is ultimately crime hurts the criminal.

Bart: That's not true, mom. I got a free ride home, didn't I? [cut to the car. the car stops and Bart is booted off the car. the car drives away]