The Day of the Dolphin
Shadow of the Colossal Donut
Invasion of the Yokel-Snatchers

Homer Simpson

Running away from the Lard Lad's Donuts Statue

  • You'll have to stop him Bart! I'm too drunk!
  • Believe in yourself boy! Even if I don't!
  • I can't hit him! He's too awesome!
  • Hey, I called no lasers!
  • Ow!! Laser means pain!!

Attacking enemies

  • Ew! Bugs dressed like clowns!
  • I wonder if can eat these mini-clowns?
  • More of them?! But I thought I was done! I already dusted my hands.
  • Oh no! More mini-Krustys! Heh heh, I wonder if they come in one tiny clown car?
  • Homer kill Krustys...
  • I wish I had my clown poison.
  • I can't hurt these little guys! How can something so cute be so dangerous?

Turning into Helium Homer

  • (giggles) Me floatie!
  • Look at me, I'm as light as a princess!
  • Whoa, I'm slightly lighter than air!

Bart Simpson

Running away from the Lard Lads Donuts Statue

  • Not cool!
  • That burns!!

Attacking enemies

  • More Mini-Krustys! I'm both star-struck, and terrified!
  • Help! Mini-Krustys!
  • Tiny Krustys are only half as funny!

Kent Brockman

  • Get ready for a stomp and unfortunately I am not talking about the musical.
  • Hold onto your hats, here comes a stomp!
  • Lard Lad's about to break out his stomping foot.
  • This guy has a really textbook stomp.
  • Taking a page out of Michael Jordan's book, Lard Lad has brought a bunch of robotic clowns to life.
  • It seems like an obvious moving retrospective, but Lard Lad has used his lasers to bring a bunch of tiny Krustys on the billboard to life.
  • If there isn't a break of the action soon, I am going to mess myself.
  • Bart, like my stock portfolio, has gone down.
  • Homer's down! And with no abdominal muscles whatsoever, he may be out.
  • Lard Lad has lost Homer and Bart, but don't relax yet. He's determined to find the father and son and, I assume, to skin them alive.
  • Lard Lad is searching for Homer and Bart, he sure is persistent for a 50-year-old logo.
  • Heh heh, giant fat doughnut hated by tiny billboard clowns, heh heh! A classic parody.
  • He's spotted them! Back to the terror!
  • From a vantage point, I can't tell if Lard Lad's laser is pulse or continuous?
  • It looks like he is charging up...wait, I'm getting an update...yes, it is a laser...
  • It's my vanity more than my drinking if I'm doubtful.
  • This Lard Lad's stomp's brought to you by Dave's Big Screens of Shelbyville. If you need a big screen, go to Dave's!
  • Lard Lad is heading straight for the prison. I say if he can tackle the problems of our troubled penal system, he's got my vote.
  • Lard Lad seems to be making it to the piers, who can blame him? It's a wonderful place to hang out and take a break from the pressures of being a horrible monster.
  • All in Springfield is praying that Bart and Homer disable the monster's ass.
  • Celebrity deaths and monster hatches always come in threes.
  • How much more damage does the food icon of yesteryear endure?
  • I got my starters as Oprah's butler. True story.
  • I love how these pants feel.
  • Deep down, I feel there is something disturbing about evolution.
  • Isn't my sanity? More than my drinking has been my downfall?
  • I'm sorry but Tom Wolfe dresses like Colonel Sanders.

Krusty EA Dolls

  • Collect all of me!
  • I'm a self-hating clown.
  • Krusty says die!
  • I want go-go!
  • I like illegal things!
  • Who wants a thousand mini-Krustys?!
  • Is it a crime to be illiterate?
  • What the hell was that?!
  • We're going to greatest place on Earth! Tiajauna!
  • I'm Krusty the Clown and I'm going to kill you!