|New Kids on the Blecch||
- (Bart is deciding whether to get beat up by the angry mob or escape with the stranger)
- Bart: Mob, stranger, mob, stranger... Stranger.
- Bart: Who are you?
- L. T. Smash: Oh, you'll find out, in due time.
- Bart: Well, it says here your name is L. T. Smash.
- L. T. Smash: The time has come. I'm L. T. Smash.
- Bart: Hello, Springfield! Now here's a song that your Principal Skinner doesn't want us to play!
- Audience: Boo!
- Principal Skinner: That's not true! This assembly was my idea. I like your inoffensive brand of pop-rock!
- Bart: Screw you, man, we're gonna play it anyway!
- L. T. Smash: [to Principal Skinner] Man, they're gonna be big... and you stood in their way!
- Principal Skinner: No I didn't. I even came in early and made orange drink!
- L. T. Smash: Orange drink? What, do you live with your mama?
- Principal Skinner: She lives with me.
- Ralph Wiggum: I'm wearing a bath robe, and I'm not even sick!
- Lisa Simpson: What does it mean?
- Homer Simpson: Ah, It doesn't mean anything. It's like "Rama Lama Ding-Dong" or "Give Peace a Chance."
- L. T. Smash: It's a three-pronged attack: sub-liminal, liminal and super-liminal.
- Lisa: Superliminal?
- L. T. Smash: I'll show you. (leans out of window) Hey, you! Join the Navy!
- Carl: Uh, yeah, all right.
- Lenny: I'm in.
- L.T. Smash: Now that you know, Lisa, I'm afraid I can't let you leave. (sees Lisa outside, walking away) Oh.
- Nelson Muntz: They called me Smellson. Ha ha!
- Homer Simpson: Smellson, that's funny 'cause you smell.
- Homer: I'm the jealousy bug! I'm gonna get ya! Gonna get ya!
- Lisa: Ow. Cut it out! You're a grown man.
- Homer: (sulking) I wanna go home now!
- Admiral: The Hippy Dream, again?
- L. T. Smash: They've been getting less frequent, sir.
- Kent Brockman: Good afternoon, and welcome to the 97th Springfield Marathon, commemorating the time Jebediah Springfield ran across 6 states to avoid his creditors.
- Homer: Now listen to me, Smash. We're not signing anything unless it's a contract.
- Marge: Now, hold on; I have some concerns.
- Bart: Please, Mom. My dream is to be a rock star.
- Homer: And my dream is to get rid of Bart.
- Marge: But ...
- Homer: How many lives must you ruin?
- [The Party Posse reads the lyrics to their song]
- Bart: [reads the lyrics] "Party Posse, we rule the earth, The greatest band since music's birth?"
- Nelson: Isn't this song a little boastful?
- Milhouse: No one told me there was going to be boasting.
- Lisa: [sees Otto getting on a bus to the naval base] Otto, what are doing?
- Otto: I dunno. I just got an urge to join the Navy.
- Lisa: You're being brainwashed!
- Otto: Yeah, probably. Ee-van eht niojh! [gets on the bus which drives away]
- Lisa: L. T., thank God you're here. The government's playing subliminal messages in your videos!
- L.T. Smash: Subliminal messages? Do you have any idea of how insane that sounds?
- Lisa: [notices an anchor tattoo on L.T.'s arm] Is that a Navy tattoo?
- L.T. Smash: A Navy tattoo? Do you have any idea of how insane that sounds?
- Ralph: Pop music's hard work.
- Homer: [when L.T. plans to blow up "Mad" Magazine] Not "Mad"! That's our nation's largest mental-illness-themed humor magazine.
- Mad Magazine Writer #1: Why don't we call it "Everybody Hates Raymond?"
- [The other "Mad" writers laugh]
- Mad Magazine Writer #2: Well, we stayed up all night, but it was worth it.