Bargain Bin
Grand Theft Scratchy

Homer Simpson

In certain parts of the level

  • Uh oh, I smell burning hobbits!
  • That dragon is toasting the hobbits!
  • How come there's no levels based in this game about Police Academy movies?
  • We're in a dungeon, Marge, and by the looks of it - not a Snuggle Dungeon either.
  • Am I lawful evil or chaotic good? Somebody?!
  • My sword keeps getting wedged to my butt crack.
  • Mmm, unexplained food...
  • Sweet! Just like my favorite old-school sword and sorcery video game. Dig Dug!
  • It's a wine cellar with no wine. Just.... meat!
  • It may be called a dungeon, but to me it is a giant maze toilet.
  • Just like Dragon's Lair, man I sucked at that game!
  • Gold key I love you!
  • Hey, this gold key looks like a key!
  • I wish I was back in that eating contest level... Or was that real life? Argh! This whole thing's too confusing!

Attacking enemies

  • Fatty and Smellma, prepare to die!
  • Smoke your last butts ladies! I'm gonna smoke your butts!
  • Way to kill, sugar pie!
  • I know you can mop, but slaughter too? Talk about Supermom!
  • You shall not pass... wind!
  • I'm gonna go mace plus five all over your asses!
  • I'd kick your butts if I had my monster manual!
  • Prepare to D&D - Die and Decompose!
  • Hey, middle-jerks! Eat sword! I hope that doesn't sound gay.
  • That's for messing with someone who can't stay watching 5 minutes of Lord of the Rings without falling asleep!
  • You have been vanquished! Er... Am I allowed to take your money now?
  • It's...stabbing time!

To the Maze Announcer

  • Oh, can't you say something more positive?
  • Homer also needs BEER badly!
  • Hell yeah! I'm thinking Mexican.
  • You still love me, video game voice?
  • No, I'm just mortally wounded.
  • No, you're about to die!

Turning into Helium Homer

  • I'm flying! I wonder if it's science or magic or super farts?!

Marge Simpson

In certain parts of the level

  • My sisters are killing these hairy toddlers!
  • Yeah, but it's nice to be staying away from the kids.
  • Way to escape, munchkins!
  • Those little freaks are amazing.
  • Oh lava, or is it magma?
  • This place would be great for storing jams and jellies.
  • A gold key? What, they didn't have a diamond one?

Recruiting members

  • Word to Bart's mother!
  • Listen to me dudes!
  • I'm like Gandalf, but sexy.
  • You can't spell "mage" without Marge!
  • Come to Magic Marge!
  • Do what I say!
  • Gather, fantasy people!
  • Obey the MILF queen!
  • Following orders can be fun!
  • I'm the ultimate nagger!
  • Over here you little idiots!

Ordering her mob

  • Drink the enemy's blood!
  • Slay, midgets, slay!
  • Kill or be killed!
  • Innocents of the shire: commence slaughter!
  • Okay gentle folk, kill!
  • Attack! Stab them in the legs and ankles!
  • Teacher says "Build"!
  • You have no free will.
  • Suicide attack begin!

Attacking enemies

  • Step off, you familiar-looking monsters!
  • That's for getting green goo on my skirt!
  • Ah, bullies and ghosties!

To the Maze Announcer

  • Oh, I don't get any of these references!

Maze Announcer

  • I like eggs.
  • Remember: don't shoot the food.
  • No one ever tells me when I need food.
  • Save keys to open doors.
  • Homer needs food badly.
  • Homer is getting fat.
  • Marge is about to die.
  • Homer, your health bar is getting low.
  • Homer is about to die.

Rod Flanders Mobbits

  • Daddy says video gamers are going to Hell!
  • Joining feels good!
  • Here comes death!
  • The double dragon's going to kill us!!
  • We'll eat orc tonight!
  • Bye, bye fire!
  • If you're looking for trouble, you've found it!
  • Just like in popular movies!
  • I'm a homicidal maniac.

Todd Flanders Mobbits

  • I prefer Narnia.
  • Boxes are sad.
  • Help! I'm claustrophobic!
  • There's an ugly monster on the bridge!
  • That dragon is happy to kill you now!
  • Real friends don't hit
  • There's a giant frog on the bridge!.
  • I don't know why the caged bird sings.

Ralph Wiggum Mobbits

  • I'm on Marge's team!
  • My diaper's full now.
  • I taste blood.
  • Why won't you die?
  • I'm giving you an owie.
  • Death is like sleep.
  • Hurting people is fun.
  • Smells like sneezing.
  • Enemies are bad.
  • My knife is poisoned.
  • I'm special.
  • I'm a killing machine.


  • Mom never liked Marge.
  • Your child corpses will make perfect appetisers!
  • Fire is the cleanser!
  • Let's burn the losers!
  • Burn, babies, burn!
  • Let's burn some hobbit houses!
  • When you're dead, we're gonna eat Bart and Lisa.
  • Homer stinks worse than Orc Poo.
  • Fire insurance doesn't exist!
  • That hurt my feelings!
  • That smarts!
  • I broke a claw!
  • That was pain!
  • Ow, my cancer!


  • I'm Orc Moe and I'm here to say I'm going to kick your ass in every way!
  • I am easily offended!
  • Where am I? Who am I? What am I?
  • Oh I wish I was a troll, then I get respect.
  • Oh my brain hurts!
  • I got my head conked, but good!
  • My name is Orc Moe and I'm here say that you're gonna die tomorrow or today!
  • Feel the pointy wrath of Orc Moe!
  • Eat Moe shaft!
  • (sigh) Moe money, Moe problems.
  • I do hate you because you're beautiful.
  • Melee! Melee! Melee!
  • Punch and kick and bite and fart!
  • Stab! Stab! Stab!
  • Orc Moe death yell!
  • I'm gonna gnaw on your bones!
  • I'm gonna make your nards into a necklace!
  • Even my warts have warts!
  • When are they gonna invent the internet here?!
  • I'm gonna spit my diseased spit on you!
  • I prefer Narnia to Middle Earth.
  • I'm gonna cut off your heads and make salt and pepper shakers.
  • Ugh, I peed my orc diaper...

Otto Ghosts

  • Whoa, I'm translucent, trippy!
  • This is nothing like the Caspar cartoons...
  • I'm going to kick you in the crack of doom!
  • It's dead Zeppelin!
  • I liked that anyway.
  • Ow! I fell on my ghost key!
  • I'm gonna harshen your mellow...permanently!