Rod: Especially when you're holding hands with your brother!
Bart: If you don't act now, when they grow up, people like me are gonna take all their money, and girlfriends.
Edna: Oh come on, they're not that hopeless.
Todd: I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
[Todd is riding a tricycle, but falls. Bart and Edna look at each other, and then look at Rod and Todd.]
Homer Simpson: [as Jesus] Ye cannot judge me. Only my Father can judge me.
Abraham Simpson: Crucify him!
Homer Simpson: I'm taking you with me, old man!
Homer Simpson: [wearing Jesus' robe] Ooh, roomy. Our Lord really knew how to keep 'em cool.
Bart Simpson: Hey, dad. Remember when you said that if Ned Flanders ever remarried you'd eat your hat?
Homer Simpson: [looking up at the crown of thorns he's wearing] Oh... [takes a bite] Ooh, licorice! [keeps eating] Mm, historically inaccurate.
Homer Simpson: Welcome to married life. Another good man bites the dust.
Marge Simpson: Homer!
Homer Simpson: What? I'm talking about that guy. [points to man on the next bed, who is flat-lining and being carted out] I sure envy him.
Ned Flanders: [dreaming of Todd's graduation] Wait a minute. Liberal professors? Feminist workshops? Abstract sculptures? This isn't a Midwestern Bible college; this is an elite East Coast t university!
Todd Flanders: It's okay, Daddy. I majored in Religious Studies.
Ned Flanders: Phew.
Todd Flanders: Comparative Religious Studies!
Ned Flanders: Aaaah!
Sea Captain: I'm married to the sea, plus I have a thing on the side with two of the Great Lakes. I won't say which, but it's Erie how Superior they are.