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The Wandering Juvie
My Big Fat Geek Wedding
Catch 'Em if You Can
(Groundskeeper Willie accidentally sucks in a kickball with his lawn mower, tearing it to shreds. He stops.)
Willie: Oh mah God! I've shredded a child! Again! (starts the lawn mower again, careening onto the highway as he drives toward the border) Venezuela, here I come!

Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! You were asked to chug-a-lug, and a lug you shall chug!
(Skinner chugs down his beer)
Skinner: (with a slurred speech) Here's something I've wanted to say to you for a long time! (worried) Am I a good principal?
Chalmers: You're the best we could get with the funds at our disposal. (the rest of the barflies cheer)

Carl: Oh, marriage is gonna be great. Now you'll have someone to rub your back... without being asked.
Lenny: Oh, not this again.
Carl: Yes, this again!

Milhouse: Mr. Groening, can you please autograph my Bender doll?
Matt Groening: Sure. I'm happy to give anyone my autograph, anytime, anywhere. On the street, in a store, or on my private property. But why be happy with just an autograph? What about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? And don't forget to pull my beard. They say it's good luck.

(When Marge and Homer get remarried in the room)
Homer: And now, Padre, if you would do the honors.
Klingon Priest: (Unintelligible Kilngon speech)
Marge: I do!
Homer: Marge, you just agreed to raise the kids' Klingon!
Marge: D'oh!

Skinner: And while the school's only ball is being repaired, the following alternative sports will be offered: Dodgerock, Volleybrick, and Basegame.
Milhouse: I wanna play Dodgerock!
[Nelson throws a rock at Milhouse, knocking him out]
Nelson: You're out!

Skinner: Please don't tell anyone.
Homer: Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
Homer: Marge, guess what! Skinner wants to bail on his wedding!
Skinner: Homer, you're still talking to me.
Homer: Oh man, is this awkward. I'm outta here.
[Homer drinks a mug of beer and passes out]
---
Homer: Oh why did I take my wedding ring of, oh right, to see if I could skip it across Lake Michigan.


Season 14 Season 15 Quotes Season 16
Treehouse of Horror XIVMy Mother the CarjackerThe President Wore PearlsThe Regina MonologuesThe Fat and the FurriestToday, I Am a Clown'Tis the Fifteenth SeasonMarge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and GaysI, (Annoyed Grunt)-BotDiatribe of a Mad HousewifeMargical History TourMilhouse Doesn't Live Here AnymoreSmart and SmarterThe Ziff Who Came to DinnerCo-Dependent's DayThe Wandering JuvieMy Big Fat Geek WeddingCatch 'Em if You CanSimple SimpsonThe Way We Weren'tBart-Mangled BannerFraudcast News