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Mr. Burns Factfile

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From 'The Homer Book'.

Mr. Burns (Homer's boss)Edit

Charles Montgomery Burns or "Monty" as his friends would call him - if he had any - is the sole proprietor and evil overlord of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Amassing immense wealth is his constant pursuit, and the terror it inspires in his fellow man, his true delight. Mister Burns credits his fashion sense to Rudy Vallee, his good looks to Dr. Jenkins Revitalizing Celery Tonic, and his long life to Satan.

Quote: "Cheating is the gift man gives himself."

Social Security Number: 000-00-0002

Bequests: Intends to leave all his wealth to the Egg Advisory Council, including his stock in Confederated Slaveholdings.

Weaknesses: Cashews, Gomer Pyle's singing voice, dodo eggs, Postem, and Bobo (his childhood teddy bear).

Intellectual pursuits: Penned a heartfelt book of poetry: "Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?"

Pets: Attack hounds, flying monkeys, the hairy denizens of "Tarantula Town," and his queen bee, which he named Smithers.

Mouth: Virtually smile-proof.

Sartorial weakness: The luxuriant caress of living fur.

Excellent possessions: Only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, a trillion dollar bill, the sword Excalibur, and a rare first draft of the U.S. Constitution with the word "suckers" in it.

Greatest nemesis: The Sun.

[Caption of Homer at the bottom of the page saying "I've learned a lot working in the Springfield Nuclear Plant for old man Burns. The experience makes me treasure the moments with my family so much more."]

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