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- Homer: I don't wanna take care of the kids. How many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?
- Marge: Quit playing dumb!
- Moe Szyslak: My first credit card. Wow, the numbers are all bumpy-like!
- Homer: Moe's, A Tribute: M is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. O is for the O in the middle of Moe's. E is for acceptance, the feeling I always got here at Moe's.
- Health Inspector: Mr. Szyslak, your tavern is ripe with Health Code violations.
- Moe: You gotta be kidding. Like what?
- Health Inspector: For starters, the body of my predecessor is still on the floor.
- Moe: Oh, yeah. Uh, well, ya see, trash day ain't 'til Wednesday, so...
- Homer: What are you inferring?
- Lisa: I'm not inferring anything. You infer; I imply.
- Homer: Well, that's a relief.
- Homer: He's only your emotional uncle. I'm your real uncle!
- Marge: You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie...
- Homer: And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie-fargie-gargie-margie-targie-largie...
- Moe: I may have dodged a bullet here.