Sponge: Yeah, right. And I'm the Guttenberg Bible.
Bar Rag: [Being cradled by Moe while he sleeps] And so, my thousand year fall from grace is complete. But I guess it's not so bad. Here I have a certain comfort, if predictable...
A hand grabs the rag.
Bar Rag: Moe! Moe, wake up! I don't want to meet someone worse than you!
Bar Rag: [Rolling in a drier] I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell...
Bar Rag: [Ends up as Santa's Little Helper's blanket] At long last, this is true love. Sweet, pure and forever.
Cut to Maggie and Santa's Little Helper fighting over the rag.
Bar Rag: Well, all marriages have their ups and downs.
Lisa: Even a kid who wears a Finding Nemo back brace has some pride.
Bar Rag: I was hung in a beautiful cathedral, where tapestries were considered rock stars. I was admired by what you now call gropies. I thought the good times known as the Dark Ages would never end, but then cruel fate came knocking at the door.
Bar Rag: That was the first time I felt pain and anguish. Nothing can ever ease that painful memory.
A mug of beer spills and the rag soaks up the beer.
Bar Rag: Oh! Well, that helps.
Homer: [as a medieval peasant] So long, Marguerite. I'm off to fight in Flanders. Stupid Flanders.