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Mayored to the Mob/Quotes

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Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"
Mayored to the Mob
Viva Ned Flanders
(After watching the advert for the Sci-Fi convention)
Homer: Well, beats work.
Bart: Yep, beats school.

Mark Hamill: Homer... Use the for--
Homer: The Force?
Mark Hamill: The forks! Use the forks!

Homer: Are you sure this is the Sci-Fi Convention? It's full of nerds!

(Neil Armstrong, to his publicist, regarding his lack of popularity at the convention)
Neil Armstrong: This is one small stop towards firing your ass!

Hamill: Hey, thanks, everybody. You know, I'm here today as Luke Skywalker, but I'm also here ... to talk about Sprint. As you can see, you stand to save up to seventeen cents a month over the more dependable providers.
Database: Daaah, talk about "Star Wars"!
Crowd: (together) Yeah!
Homer: You stupid nerds! He's trying to save you money on long-distance!
Hamill: "Star Wars", eh? Well, let me ask you this: how many of you have ever dreamed of being in that movie? (the crowd goes wild with "me's") Well, you're in luck. 'Cause we're gonna act out a scene, and I'll need a volunteer to play Obi Wan.
Skinner: Kenobi?

Lenny: Mark, Mark, Mark, pick me, my whole life has been leading to this moment!
Carl: Ah like hell it has, if anybody's gonna play Obi it's me!
Professor Frink: All right step away you foolish amateurs, just keep back, keep out of it. The role is mine, with the acting and the groupies and the 'Luke, Like save me' with the light saber and the Vwing, Vwing, Vwiiiiing.
Groundskeeper Willie: That's not how you Vwing! (starts punch-up)

Mayor Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired!
Ernie: Fired, huh? Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for ya?
Big Tom: Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
Quimby: I'll tell ya who! Him!
(Quimby points to Homer, standing with his family)
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Marge: Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just--
Homer: (sternly) I said, woo-hoo.

(Leavelle pretends to fire a rifle at a watermelon on a podium. Homer dives in front of the bullet's path)
Homer: Nooo!
(Homer tumbles to the ground and Leavelle walks over)
Leavelle: Well, your dive wasn't bad, but I just didn't believe your "Nooo!" You gotta sell it! Remember, your "Nooo!" is what gets you your next job. Now drop and give me twenty.
Homer: (dramatically) NOOOOOO!!!!
Leavelle: Better.

Season 9 Season 10 Quotes Season 11
Lard of the DanceThe Wizard of Evergreen TerraceBart the MotherTreehouse of Horror IXWhen You Dish Upon a StarD'oh-in' in the WindLisa Gets an "A"Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"Mayored to the MobViva Ned FlandersWild Barts Can't Be BrokenSunday, Cruddy SundayHomer to the MaxI'm with CupidMarge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"Make Room for LisaMaximum HomerdriveSimpsons Bible StoriesMom and Pop ArtThe Old Man and the "C" StudentMonty Can't Buy Me LoveThey Saved Lisa's BrainThirty Minutes Over Tokyo

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