Mayonnaise and Marmalade is a song that is heard in "Take My Wife, Sleaze" during the montage of Bart teaching Homer how to ride his new Harley-Davidson.
- You showed me everything, you took me by the hand.
- Puppy dogs and Lincoln Logs and castles made of sand.
- You gave me the courage to spread my newborn wings,
- Like mayonnaise and marmalade and other spreadable things.
- So I guess you are my hero, and there's something you should know.
- I want to make it clear, so I'm gonna sing it slow.
- If you weren't a man and my father, too.
- I'd buy you a diamond ring, and then I'd marry you.