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Marge vs. the Monorail/Quotes

< Marge vs. the Monorail

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Homer's Triple Bypass
Marge vs. the Monorail
Selma's Choice
Marge opens a closet in the monorail
Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here.
Homer: I call the big one Bitey.

Homer is schlumpily sitting on the couch watching TV
TV Commercial: Are you sitting there like a lump?
Commercial shows man sitting schlumpily on a couch who looks remarkably like Homer
Homer: Well, yeah.
TV Commercial: Are you on your third beer of the evening?
Homer: Does whiskey count as beer?
TV Commercial: Why not get out and find a future as a monorail worker by enrolling at the Lyle Lanley Institute!
Commercial shows a glitzy high rise.
TV Commercial: Disclaimer: Actual learning center may not match one shown in picture.

Bart helps Homer study for the monorail test by reading some questions to him
Bart: True or false: "You can get mono from riding the monorail."
Homer: False. No wait, true!
Bart: No you were right the first time! It's false. You know Dad, I think this is great that you are trying to become a monorail conductor, and I want to be just like you when I grow up.
Homer: Thanks boy! Do you want to change your name to Homer junior? The kids can call you "Ho Ju"!
Bart's eyes look away.
Bart: Uh...I'll get back to you.

Yet another one of Homer's lifelong dreams
Homer: But Marge! My lifelong dream is to be a monorail conductor!
Marge: Your lifelong dream was to run out onto the field during a baseball game and you did it last year, remember?"
Baseball music is heard as Marge points out framed newspaper clipping on the bedroom wall showing Homer running on a baseball diamond.
Newspaper headline: IDIOT RUINS GAME; SPRINGFIELD FORFEITS PENNANT

Marge concerned about the welfare of the citizens of Springfield, decides to take a night drive. Visions of various people go through her mind
Lyle Lanley: {imagined} I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook!
Apu: {imagined} Is there a chance the track could bend?
Homer: {imagined} I call the big one Bitey.
Lyle Lanley: {imagined} I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook!
Apu: {imagined}:Is there a chance the track could bend?
Homer: {imagined} I call the big one Bitey.
Marge arrives in North Haverbrook
Sign: WELCOME TO NORTH HAVERBROOK; WHERE THE MONORAIL IS KING!
Marge parks her car and inspects the community of North Haverbrook. She is appalled to find tumbleweeds, rusted out cars, and dilapidated, abandoned houses. No one is in any of the houses except for an elderly lady in a rocking chair on a veranda
Old lady: {cackling} Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Marge continues on in her tour of North Haverbrook. She sees a destroyed monorail track with one of the cars dangling off the track, confirming her suspicions . She then meets a disheveled, traumatized woman
Woman: Go away! There ain't no monorail and there never was!
Woman slams window shut
Window: MONORAIL CAFE
A creepy looking man approaches Marge, who screams in horror
Man: So sorry, I should not have snuck up on you like that. My name is Sebastian Cobb. Lanley hired me to build his monorail. He cut corners everywhere. Bad wiring, faulty breaks and the celebrity on the maiden voyage was Gallagher.
Sebastian Cobb shows Marge the wrecked monorail
Sebastian Cobb: This is all that's left of one of the crappiest trains ever built! 

Mayor Quimby: And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall Mr. Leonard Nimoy!
Audience applauds
Leonard Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp 5!
Audience chuckles
Quimby: And let me say, may the Force be with you!
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: I believe I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?

The monorail is out of control.
Homer: Are we gonna die, son?
Bart: Yeah... but at least we'll take a lot of innocent people with us.

The monorail is still out of control. Marge communicates to Homer.
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who says he can help you.
Homer: Batman?!
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Sebastian Cobb: Homer, you can halt the monorail. You need to find some sort of anchor.
Homer: Anchor? Let's see, anchor, anchor.
Homer visualizes Bart turning into an anchor.
Bart the Anchor: Think harder, Homer.

The monorail has been halted after Homer's makeshift anchor attaches itself to a gigantic plaster donut atop the donut shop.
Homer: [talking to himself] Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?


Season 3 Season 4 Quotes Season 5
Kamp KrustyA Streetcar Named MargeHomer the HereticLisa the Beauty QueenTreehouse of Horror IIIItchy & Scratchy: The MovieMarge Gets a JobNew Kid on the BlockMr. PlowLisa's First WordHomer's Triple BypassMarge vs. the MonorailSelma's ChoiceBrother from the Same PlanetI Love LisaDufflessLast Exit to SpringfieldSo It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip ShowThe FrontWhacking DayMarge in ChainsKrusty Gets Kancelled

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