(Marge crashes the Canyonero into Springfield Prison, which allows several prisoners to escape)
Chief Wiggum: Well, I hope you're happy, Simpson. Those prisoners were one day away from being completely rehabilitated.
Sergeant Crew: Anger is what makes America great. But you must find a proper outlet for your rage. Fire a weapon at your TV set, pick a fight with someone weaker than you, or write a threatening letter to a celebrity.
Homer: Marge, come in the house! Maggie smells bad, and the cat wants something, but I don't know what it is!
Bart: They're all just lying around. (to the animals) Do something!
Lisa: Bart, they're not here to entertain us.
Homer: I've seen plays that were more exciting than this. Honest to God… plays!
Marge: I can't believe they took away my license. It feels like I lost a limb.
Homer: Well, that's a turn-off.
Lisa: Hey, why don't you come to the wild animal park with us?
Marge: Oh, your father drives like an old lady.
Homer: At least I've got a license! (Marge glares at him) Come on, kids, I went too far.
Wiggum: Okay, I assume you all know why you're here. (ducks as chair thrown at him) That's right, you're all angry, sick people. But, over these next eight hours, you will be broken down to the level of infants, then rebuilt as functional members of society, then broken down again, then lunch, then, if there's time, rebuilt once more.
Homer: Marge, you've been out there all morning.
Homer: So lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it.
Marge: Hang on; the manual says I need to log on to the onboard computer.(enters "MARGE" on a keypad) M-A-R-G-E.
Computer: Hello, Marge. Where would you like to go today?
Marge: No one has ever asked me that before in my life.
Homer: Don't worry kids, I'll save us. JUMANJI! (Rhinos continue to stampede) Does anything from the movies work!?!?
Bart: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
(as Mrs Krabappel is singing her rendition of "Fever")
Bart: Kill me...
(Homer is inside the Porta-John, hiding from the angry rhino.)
Homer: I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!