|Make Room for Lisa||
- Announcer: That was "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, or as they're known today... Men Without Jobs.
- Hippie Lady: But the I Ching said I had six months till bankruptcy.
- Repo Man: Hey, channel somebody who gives a damn!
- (Marge is listening in)
- Moe: Lenny, how are you doing? This is Moe. I've got some class three gossip here.
- Lenny: Well, dish!
- Moe: Groundskeeper Willie … you know, the guy in the skirt? Bought himself a mail-order bride. But he's too cheap to pay the C. O. D., right? So she's still in a crate down at the post office. Wanna go look-see?
- Marge: Ooh, this sounds juicy.
- Dr. Hibbert: Lisa, I'm afraid your tummy ache may be caused by stress.
- Homer : Well, that's a relief.
- Dr. Hibbert: Heh, yeah. Anyway, when it comes to stress, I believe laughter is the best medicine. You know, before I learned to chuckle mindlessly, I was headed for an early grave myself. (chuckles)
- Homer: Give it a try, honey.
- (Lisa tries to chuckle)
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh, now you call that chuckling? Come on, child, force it.
- Lisa: I'm really not the chuckling type.
- Homer: It's true. I'm always making clever noises, and she never chuckles at 'em.
- Hippie Lady: Namaste.
- Homer: And a-ooga-booga to you too.
- Hippie Lady: May I tell you about our white-light specials?
- Homer: Absolutely not. My little girl's tummy hurts. Do you have anything to stop her complaining?
- Lisa: (angrily) Dad!
- Lisa: I can't believe you did this, dad. Why didn't you put that thing in your room?
- Homer: Hmm, that thought never occurred to me. Funny how your mind works in a crisis.
- Homer: Ah no. No freezing.
- Owner: No, Mr. Simpson. This is a sensory deprivation tank. It blocks out all the external distractions that bombard our souls.
- Homer: Can you pee in it?
- Lisa: I'll take two hours!
- Homer: Me too.
- Owner: You're about to take a journey into the mind. You may see and experience things that are strange and frightening. But remember, they can't physically harm you, though they may destroy you mentally.
- Lisa: Dad, I still don't understand how you could just give my room away.
- Homer: Honey, what's your favorite movie?
- Lisa: Well, until you taped over it, "The Little Mermaid".
- Homer: That's right. "The Odd Couple". Meet your new, comically mismatched roommate- Bart.
- Bart: I'm going to make your life a living hell.
- Lisa: Ohh...
- (Homer hums "Odd Couple" theme, shoves Lisa into the room and runs away)
- Lisa: Mom, what's happening?
- Marge: I'm sorry, honey, but we're renting your room to a satellite network until your father can pay for the destruction of a priceless artifact. Boy, I never thought I'd have to say that again.
- Homer: Come on, Lisa. Try and see this from the Omnitouch Corporation's point of view.
- Homer: (To Bart) This is all your fault for trading away your turn! Just for that, no dessert tonight!
- Bart: (To Lisa) Trade you my next turn for your dessert.
- Lisa: Deal.
- Homer: D'oh!