| Luann Van Houten|
|Relatives|| Son: Milhouse|
Mother: Nana Sophie
Father: Mr. Mussolini
Half-Brother: Bastardo Van Houten
Sister: Mrs. Mussolini
|First Appearance||Homer Defined|
|Voiced By||Maggie Roswell|
Luann Van Houten (née Mussolini) is the wife of Kirk Van Houten and the mother of Milhouse Van Houten. She has been married to Kirk twice, getting divorced once, due to an argument that they had at Homer and Marge's dinner party.
Luann Van Houten originated from Tuscany, Italy, showing she is an Italian American, as her mother is Italian. According to Lemon of Troy, she was born in Shelbyville, however she moved to Springfield in an early life. She was born on December 1. She lacks the stereo typically exaggerated mannerisms associated with most other Italian Americans in Springfield, such as Fat Tony, or the chef Luigi Risotto. When younger, she went to "Camp Land-A-Man" (which basically served as a finishing school) with Marge, Patty and Selma, Helen Lovejoy, and Cookie Kwan.
Luann was married to Kirk for several years and born Milhouse. Their marriage came to an unhappy end, after an argument over a game of Pictionary, she leaves Kirk after he angrily remarks after previously drawing it and she drew a far better version of dignity that it is no wonder that he can't draw "dignity", since he gave it up when he married her. Although Kirk found the new liberty of a single life tough, Luann uses her new found freedom to live life on the fast lane. Luann began dating American Gladiator Pyro shortly after her divorce with Kirk, but was caught cheating on him with his best friend, Gyro. It is implied that Luann had a one-night stand with Otto in the episode Moe Letter Blues after Otto tells Kirk "even I hooked up with your old lady" before apologizing to Milhouse, to which he replies that Otto was his "favorite uncle", which also implies that she was very sexually promiscuous. Even while with Kirk she attended a key party in which she slept with Dr. Hibbert.
In Apu's bachelor years, she had been one of his bachelorettes. It is once revealed Luann had also gone out with Disco Stu, disco dancing. As well, she also admits she had begun a relationship with Captain McCallister. Quite recently she often splits Kirk.
When the Van Houtens are on the verge of reuniting, Bart and Milhouse hatch a scheme to get them to separate again (because Milhouse enjoyed both of them fighting over him). The scheme backfires, and nearly results in the separation of Homer and Marge. Bart and Milhouse try another hapless scheme by attempting to push a mannequin version of Bart over a waterfall. Since then, they are often seen together. After some years, they decide to marry again. Their honeymoon goes wrong since they fall from their ship and are lost in an island. When they are rescued, they go back to Springfield.
Luann, Kirk and Milhouse all have similar appearances. Bart once asked Luann and Kirk if they are siblings.
Luann seemed unhappy with her life before she divorced Kirk Van Houten, but she tried to stay strong and cover her emotions with a smile.
- Luann may have had Kleptomaniacal tendencies, as while fighting with Kirk Van Houten shortly before their divorce, she mentioned that she stole shirts from the church donation bin.
- She was apparently born without eyebrows.
- Apparently, she may not have been a good cook, as Kirk Van Houten, during the dinner party with the Simpson family, implied twice that he hadn't had a decent breakfast since he was in the army, and thought he would get a decent breakfast from high school hooligans egging their bonneville if they threw him some bacon.
- She also apparently frequently told bedtime stories that were filled with negative vibes about her husband, such as how "rotten" it was to be married by a "loser" or the fact that he carries a change purse.
- She has a real estate license
Behind the Laughter Edit
Luann is voiced by Maggie Roswell, but she temporarily became a non-speaking character when Roswell left the show due for a while to a pay dispute.