|Love is a Many Strangled Thing||
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- Marge: Just ‘cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
- Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.
- Dr. Zander: Homer, it's time you understood what it feels like to be young, small and terrified.
- Homer: No, doc please! I'm just a little boy!
- Kareem Abdul-Jabaar: Why, you little...! (strangling Homer)
- Marge: Whatever you did to my husband it was too effective.
- Dr. Zander: Ah, yes. One of the most common complaints about therapy.
- Homer: I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. (adds vodka to his Orange juice and drinks it) Now it feels like a morning.
- Homer: Dr. Zander, you've made me see my life to Bart's neck. and I swear! I'll will never, ever strangle my boy again!
- Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
- Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
- Dr. Zander: And you're cured.
- Homer: Yeah, strangling. I mean it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's the sharpest. (Starts to laugh except for everybody.) Right? Anyway I said "Bart-"...
- Dr. Zander: You're actually serious? You physically lay your hands on your boy's neck?!
- Homer: Well, I guess it's how I was raised.
- (Flashback shows a child Homer with his father)
- Abe Simpson: Look at these grades, they're a disgrace! No TV for a week!
- Young Homer: Why you little-!
- (Begins strangling Abe)
- Homer: (having a nightmare, scaring) No, no. I'm just a kid. Leave me alone!
- (During this dream: Homer as a young Michael Jackson with his brothers: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, and Marlon. The five brothers stop dancing, when the music stops also. Bart as Joe Jackson, who their manager.)
- Joe Jackson: It's ABC, 123! It's the easiest song in the world! (Michael cries and runs out.)
- (The parody scene of The Great Santini: Homer as Ben, Bart as Wilbur Meechum.)
- Wilbur Meechum: You think you're better than the great Simpsini?! (hits his son with the large, orange ball) Well, you're not! What you gonna do, write a book about me?!
- Ben: Ah!
- Wilbur Meechum: You couldn't get in the door at Random House, with your name was Bennett Cerf the third." (continues hitting his son with the basketball) One, two, three, CRY! One, two, three, CRY! (Ben drinks a water in a glass) How's that water, wet like your tears?
- (The parody of movie, Precious: Homer as Precious, and Bart as Mary, Precious' mother.)
- Mary: Precious, is that you?
- Precious: Yes, mama.
- Mary: "You think you're so pretty, Where's my Lotto ticket?!
- Precious: I forgot, mama. (Mary throws at TV at her daughter but misses, and continues to throw TVs as Precious runs down the stairs.) WAAAAHH!!!!
- (Precious is now holding a bucket of chicken wings as she runs.)
- Mary: And don't come back without it! (Precious eats while running) You hear me?! Hurry up!
- (Precious runs onto the cruise ship. Huge television sets fall and just miss the ship. An even larger set rises out of the water, lifting the ship with it)
- Mary: (on TV, glaring) I don't see many more movie roles for a girl like you. Not unless George Lucas needs another Death Star.