|Little Big Mom||
- Orderly: You'll have a great view of the whole beach… from the electric needle room.
- Homer: Really? The whole beach?
- Orderly: Yes… from the electric needle room.
- Homer: Electric needle room?!
- Dr. Hibbert: Good lord, you're wasting thousands of dollars worth of Interferon!
- Homer: And you're "interferon" with our good time! Hehehehe!
- Dolph: Woah! Phat five forty!
- Nelson: I'm getting agro on this kicker!
- Bart: Stomp that pickle revert!
- Otto: Excellent. Your lingo is progressing nicely.
- Bart: Can I go to the bathroom?
- Otto: Uh uh, say it in snowboard!
- Bart: Um…I gotta blast a dookie?
- Otto: Dook on!
- Ned: I guess we'll have an imagination Christmas this year..
- Rod and Todd: Yaaay! Imagination Christmas!
- Lisa: Okay, now we're gonna draw jobs from the chore hat!
- Homer: Come on, bikini inspector! Scrub toilet? Okay, that was a practice! Practice…practice. Okay, here we go…feed fish.
- Bart: I'll supervise!
- Lisa: You know, the reason for the hat.
- Homer: Oh, it's a great hat. No one's questioning the hat.
- Lisa: Will you at least do the dishes?
- Homer: Lisa I'll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat and it's not a practice..... See, there it is! But that was a practice. The system works!
- Ski Trainer: (in Homer's memory) If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is...
- Ned: (abruptly appears) Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
- Homer: Gah! Stupid sexy Flanders!
- Lisa: Here are your lunches, and no trading your fruit for firecrackers.
- Homer: Aw, but Lenny just got some bottle rockets.
- Lisa: You stay away from Lenny. And Bart, where's your sweater?
- Bart: It unraveled on a nail.
- Homer: That's not true, he left it on the bus!
- Bart: You're dead, squealer!
- Homer: [screams and runs out of the house with Bart] Lisa, help!
- Lisa: Those boys of mine.
- Bart: Why would God punish a kid? I mean, an American kid.
- Homer [in his underwear]: Morning.
- Lisa: Dad, where are your clothes?
- Homer: I don't know.
- Lisa: Don't tell me Mom dresses you.
- Homer: I guess, or one of her friends.
- Lisa: What's in the box, Mom?
- Marge: This box? Oh, nothing.
- Bart: Are you sure? You sound nervous.
- Marge: Well, anyone would be nervous with all the economic turmoil you read about in the...Haaa! [rushes outside]
- Homer: Get her! She's doing something!
- Homer: [walks in the house carrying groceries] I've got groceries. [puts the bags down on the table]
- Lisa: [takes things out of the bags] Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy? Astronaut bread?
- Homer: It's the bread of astronauts.
- Bart: [looking at a box of "Sweet Emotions" cereal] I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal.
- Lisa: Dad, I gave you a list.
- Homer: Oh, yeah. [reads the list and laughs] You were way off.
- Lisa: [growls in frustration]
- Homer: [on his candy-cell phone] Hello, Lollipop Island? There's a little girl here who had too many sour balls.
- Lisa: [growls and stalks off]
- Homer: Anyway, where were we? Hello? Hello? They hung up.
- [Lisa types Homer and Bart’s “symptoms” onto VirtualDoctor]
- Lisa: Crusty sores?
- Homer: Yes
- Lisa: Excessive wailing?
- Homer [wailing]: Yes, yes!
- Lisa: Any exposure to unsanitary conditions?
- Bart: Duh, we’re pigs!
- Lisa [finishes typing the “symptoms”] Okay… And diagnose! [pushes a key]
- VirtualDoc: You’ve got leprosy.
- Homer and Bart: Leprosy?! [scream and point at each other] Unclean!
- Bart: Unclean!
- Homer: Unclean! Help us, Virtual Doc! Look at me. I’m on my knees.
- VirtualDoc: Goodbye. [computer turns off. Homer and Bart look at each other scared]
- Lisa: [Using Mr. Burns Catchphrase] Excellent.
- Bart: At Sunday school, they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude.
- Homer: Jesus?
- Bart: Yeah, that sounds right.
- Homer: We'll take the cure, bag a few lobsters, then watch some gay guys get married.