- (Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
- Bart: …and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
- All: EWW!!
- Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
- All: EWWWWW!!
- Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
- Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
- Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
- (The whole classroom screams)
- Mr. Bergstrom is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range"
- Janey: (Laughing) Lisa, look at this!
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.
- Caricature #1: [THE SINGING DORK]
- Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.
- Mr. Bergstrom: Did you draw this?
- Lisa: No, of course not! Uh, although now I almost wish I did.
- Mr. Bergstrom: I like it. I was going to request if I may have it.
- Lisa: Oh sure!
- Lisa gives caricature to Mr. Bergstrom, who continues the song.
- Janey: (whispering) Lisa, look at this!
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of herself singing.
- Caricature #2: [THE SINGING DORKETTE]
- Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.
- Lisa: Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!
- Miss Hoover: I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!
- Miss Hoover: He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?
- Lisa: That life is worth living.
- Miss Hoover: You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be (Spells on blackboard) psychosomatic.
- Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
- Janey: No, that means she was faking it.
- Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.
- Lisa: I'm glad I'm not crying. Cause I'd hate for you to think that what I'm about to say is based on emotion. But you, sir, are a baboon!
- Homer: (gasp) Me?
- Lisa: Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!
- Homer: I don't think you realize what you're saying…
- Lisa: BABOON!
- Homer: Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?
- Lisa: No!
- Homer: Nuts. I know you are sad because you lost a man you care about. I cannot relate because everyone I care about is under this roof. In a way I consider myself lucky. I can fix your dollhouse because I'm good at monkey work.
- Homer makes monkey noises and apes about Lisa's bedroom, which makes her laugh.
- Lisa: I'm sorry I called you a baboon, Dad.
- Homer: Think nothing of it, honey. (rubs noses with Lisa)
- Bart's bedroom. He is angrily throwing a rubber ball against the wall.
- Bart: (talking to himself) Stupid Martin Prince!
- Homer enters bedroom.
- Homer: Hey, what's wrong son?
- Bart: Aw, Dad, if only me, Milhouse and Lewis had voted, I would be class president.
- Homer: Bart, does the class president get paid?
- Bart: No.
- Homer: Does he have to do extra work?
- Bart: Yes.
- Homer: And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?
- Bart: Hell no!
- Homer: So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself.
- Bart: Thanks, Monkey man.
|◄ Season 1||Season 2 Quotes||Season 3 ►|
|Bart Gets an "F" • Simpson and Delilah • Treehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish • Dancin' Homer • Dead Putting Society • Bart vs. Thanksgiving • Bart the Daredevil • Itchy & Scratchy & Marge • Bart Gets Hit by a Car • One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish • The Way We Was • Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment • Principal Charming • Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? • Bart's Dog Gets an F • Old Money • Brush with Greatness • Lisa's Substitute • The War of the Simpsons • Three Men and a Comic Book • Blood Feud|